Comedy Poems

Popular Comedy Poems
April Fool's Prank
by Randy Johnson

Three convenience store employees thought what they did was funny but I think it was cruel.
Those three people said that I won a thirty million dollar lottery and then yelled "April Fool".
They sold me a fake lottery ticket with the winning numbers.
They started laughing and said that a person couldn't be any dumber.
For a few minutes, they tricked me into thinking that I was a rich man.
I thought that I could drive a Rolls Royce and throw away my minivan.
When those idiots yelled "April Fool", all hell broke loose.
They thought it was funny and didn't expect such abuse.
I beat the hell out of all three of them and they made loud thuds when they fell.
I'm as poor as I ever was and now I will be spending the next year or two in jail.

......

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Your Car Sucks!
by Randy Johnson

You've designed a new electric car and it's being built on the assembly line.
You've been pestering me to buy one but I never will, one of your cars will never be mine.
You want me to buy one but I'm going to pass.
Your car sucks and you can shove it up your ass.
It takes fourteen hours to charge it and it can only be driven for thirty minutes.
Your car is a joke and when it comes to one of them, you'll never see me in it.
If I couldn't design a better car than yours, I'd give up and quit.
I will never buy one of your cars because they are pieces of shit.

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Unfortunate birthday
by Roxana Darvish

The midwife said "yikes!" And looked at the pale creature

"No man will take her as wife, she better become a teacher"

Mother asked "that bad?" Midwife shook her head

Mother sighed and said " I wish I were dead"

Then she took a breath, and asked for her mate


......

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Princess Peach Turned Out To Be A Snob
by Randy Johnson

I had to travel through eight worlds to save Princess Peach.
But she's about as warm and caring as a blood sucking leech.
After killing seven fake Bowsers, I finally destroyed the real one.
I did it to save Peach but it was something I shouldn't have done.
She turned out to be a snob, she called me dumb and Luigi dumber.
She said that we're worthless in her eyes because we're just plumbers.
I had to fight turtles and Goombas, and I told her that I deserved to be thanked.
She said that I'm dust beneath her feet and I decided that she should be spanked.
I put her over my knee and I spanked that soft ass.
She cried and cried which proves that she has no class.

......

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My Cousin's Choice
by Randy Johnson

A Wizard gave my cousin two choices, become an ogre or praise the new Doctor Who.
It took less than five seconds for him to choose what to do.
He chose to become an ugly green ogre even though it will be for the remainder of his days.
He chose to be an ogre because the new Doctor Who TV show isn't something he'll ever praise.
He became an ogre two years ago and this morning I learned that he doesn't regret it.
Ho doesn't regret his choice even though he's so ugly that he makes Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
When he was given the choices, he was expected to praise the new Doctor Who.
He has always loved the original Doctor Who TV show but he sure dies hate the new.

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Recent Comedy Poems
Life is a Circus
by Priyadarshini Goel

A young lad blossoms from a petal,
Many challenges to come and yet to settle.
Here begins life's crazy circus,
To be happy but yet sometimes serious.

A circus to be a star in your own ring,
To keep trying and never stop thinking.
To lean not too far in one direction,
Find a balance even beneath the most odd collection.


......

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Unfortunate birthday
by Roxana Darvish

The midwife said "yikes!" And looked at the pale creature

"No man will take her as wife, she better become a teacher"

Mother asked "that bad?" Midwife shook her head

Mother sighed and said " I wish I were dead"

Then she took a breath, and asked for her mate


......

Continue reading
Princess Peach Turned Out To Be A Snob
by Randy Johnson

I had to travel through eight worlds to save Princess Peach.
But she's about as warm and caring as a blood sucking leech.
After killing seven fake Bowsers, I finally destroyed the real one.
I did it to save Peach but it was something I shouldn't have done.
She turned out to be a snob, she called me dumb and Luigi dumber.
She said that we're worthless in her eyes because we're just plumbers.
I had to fight turtles and Goombas, and I told her that I deserved to be thanked.
She said that I'm dust beneath her feet and I decided that she should be spanked.
I put her over my knee and I spanked that soft ass.
She cried and cried which proves that she has no class.

......

Continue reading
My Cousin's Choice
by Randy Johnson

A Wizard gave my cousin two choices, become an ogre or praise the new Doctor Who.
It took less than five seconds for him to choose what to do.
He chose to become an ugly green ogre even though it will be for the remainder of his days.
He chose to be an ogre because the new Doctor Who TV show isn't something he'll ever praise.
He became an ogre two years ago and this morning I learned that he doesn't regret it.
Ho doesn't regret his choice even though he's so ugly that he makes Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
When he was given the choices, he was expected to praise the new Doctor Who.
He has always loved the original Doctor Who TV show but he sure dies hate the new.

Continue reading
April Fool's Prank
by Randy Johnson

Three convenience store employees thought what they did was funny but I think it was cruel.
Those three people said that I won a thirty million dollar lottery and then yelled "April Fool".
They sold me a fake lottery ticket with the winning numbers.
They started laughing and said that a person couldn't be any dumber.
For a few minutes, they tricked me into thinking that I was a rich man.
I thought that I could drive a Rolls Royce and throw away my minivan.
When those idiots yelled "April Fool", all hell broke loose.
They thought it was funny and didn't expect such abuse.
I beat the hell out of all three of them and they made loud thuds when they fell.
I'm as poor as I ever was and now I will be spending the next year or two in jail.

......

Continue reading
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Popular Poets about Comedy From Members
  • Randy Johnson
    Randy Johnson (6 poems about Comedy)
    August 20, 1971 - Tennessee