Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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Princess Peach Turned Out To Be A Snob

I had to travel through eight worlds to save Princess Peach.
But she's about as warm and caring as a blood sucking leech.
After killing seven fake Bowsers, I finally destroyed the real one.
I did it to save Peach but it was something I shouldn't have done.
She turned out to be a snob, she called me dumb and Luigi dumber.
She said that we're worthless in her eyes because we're just plumbers.
I had to fight turtles and Goombas, and I told her that I deserved to be thanked.
She said that I'm dust beneath her feet and I decided that she should be spanked.
I put her over my knee and I spanked that soft ass.
She cried and cried which proves that she has no class.
I was only given a few lives and I had to travel through thirty-two levels to be able to win.
I would've dumped Peach in the lava instead of Bowser if I had things to do over again.
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