Randy Johnson

August 20, 1971 - Tennessee
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April Fool's Prank

Three convenience store employees thought what they did was funny but I think it was cruel.
Those three people said that I won a thirty million dollar lottery and then yelled "April Fool".
They sold me a fake lottery ticket with the winning numbers.
They started laughing and said that a person couldn't be any dumber.
For a few minutes, they tricked me into thinking that I was a rich man.
I thought that I could drive a Rolls Royce and throw away my minivan.
When those idiots yelled "April Fool", all hell broke loose.
They thought it was funny and didn't expect such abuse.
I beat the hell out of all three of them and they made loud thuds when they fell.
I'm as poor as I ever was and now I will be spending the next year or two in jail.
I'm in a lot of trouble, I also broke some other things in addition to breaking the law.
When I repeatedly punched those convenience store clerks, I broke their ribs and jaws.
My obese mother-in-law just yelled "April Fool" after saying that she was going to pay my bail.
I just knocked her on her bloated butt so now I guess I'll be spending even more time in jail.
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