Good morning, I'm sorry
it must've been so hard to wake up in the morning, every morning, and find me still around
sorry for the words i spoke, every fucking bad word i have once uttered
sorry for the jokes
sorry for the real face reactions instead of fake smiles
sorry for asking for help when doing it alone in a year/ not doing it at all are options
sorry for sharing any thoughts, hopes, or common memories; i should've said i forgot everything whenever the topic is mentioned
sorry for being a burden when i could have been vanished
i guess missing me is better than weighing you down, mom
sorry for not being my dad in his absence yet being him in passiveness/negativity
......
When I step down into the world, you were there to praise ..
When I was ready to take a step, you were there to hold ...
When I grown up, you were there to teach...
When I was ready to leave, you were there to encourage...
When I was alone, you were there to accompany ..
......
tonight when i close my eyes
i watch in horror as my father dies.
it's only the truth, i share no lies
lying on my bed my heart cries.
night after night, all i do is lay and weep
a years gone by and still no sleep.
all i ask is a night off from this pain
instead i hit the bottle as my eyes begin to rain.
the room spins as the whiskey takes over
you died an alkie, maybe i should of stayed sober.
......
I can hear the echoing across the hills of heaven above,
Thousands searching for the ones they love.
Battling this end of life darkness as God as my shield.
For this darkness and evil could not be healed.
With God, the pain will soon be set free,
But even in death, death cannot destroy me.
Do not weep for me, For I will always be right here,
But leaving you all broken is what I fear.
I may not be here physically, so no longer will I be seen,
I'm fighting hard, but I'm left stuck somewhere in between.
......
Dadda ! You were a Presence. My connection with you was an assimilation of essence from demeanour, before your graduation from Earth.
Can a Dad be captured in one poem ? No, not any father, all encoded with aspects of Divinity in Diversity.
Malaysian featured, an evolved spirit from ancient Egypt, containing Lemurian genetics, he birthed. Godly elements crafted Beingness into a joyful child, unable to memorise timetables. Maan* matured from skinny into a strong rebellious street-child.
Dadda couldn’t fathom a need to sit at a desk, unnecessarily caned by teachers, when unable to grapple with numbers. He threw a chair at a teacher, with immediate expulsion. How dare she cane a child of God…!
Boeta* Maan simply told his Matriarch that he was not returning to school. She simply replied : “OK.” This was Grade 5 : FREE from teachers, desks, uniform and cold walks to school in the rain.
......
Good morning, I'm sorry
it must've been so hard to wake up in the morning, every morning, and find me still around
sorry for the words i spoke, every fucking bad word i have once uttered
sorry for the jokes
sorry for the real face reactions instead of fake smiles
sorry for asking for help when doing it alone in a year/ not doing it at all are options
sorry for sharing any thoughts, hopes, or common memories; i should've said i forgot everything whenever the topic is mentioned
sorry for being a burden when i could have been vanished
i guess missing me is better than weighing you down, mom
sorry for not being my dad in his absence yet being him in passiveness/negativity
......
Dadda ! You were a Presence. My connection with you was an assimilation of essence from demeanour, before your graduation from Earth.
Can a Dad be captured in one poem ? No, not any father, all encoded with aspects of Divinity in Diversity.
Malaysian featured, an evolved spirit from ancient Egypt, containing Lemurian genetics, he birthed. Godly elements crafted Beingness into a joyful child, unable to memorise timetables. Maan* matured from skinny into a strong rebellious street-child.
Dadda couldn’t fathom a need to sit at a desk, unnecessarily caned by teachers, when unable to grapple with numbers. He threw a chair at a teacher, with immediate expulsion. How dare she cane a child of God…!
Boeta* Maan simply told his Matriarch that he was not returning to school. She simply replied : “OK.” This was Grade 5 : FREE from teachers, desks, uniform and cold walks to school in the rain.
......
The pain never left since my dad died,
Tears fall every night as I try to hide.
Lost and alone, I struggle to survive,
Wish I could talk to him and feel alive.
My mind slipping away, how do we survive,
All I have left are memories to revive.
My heart stopped beating as he laid at rest,
Can't escape the thoughts of mortality and final test.
Wish I could see his face one last time and attest,
That my dad, my hero, the very best.
......
tonight when i close my eyes
i watch in horror as my father dies.
it's only the truth, i share no lies
lying on my bed my heart cries.
night after night, all i do is lay and weep
a years gone by and still no sleep.
all i ask is a night off from this pain
instead i hit the bottle as my eyes begin to rain.
the room spins as the whiskey takes over
you died an alkie, maybe i should of stayed sober.
......
I can hear the echoing across the hills of heaven above,
Thousands searching for the ones they love.
Battling this end of life darkness as God as my shield.
For this darkness and evil could not be healed.
With God, the pain will soon be set free,
But even in death, death cannot destroy me.
Do not weep for me, For I will always be right here,
But leaving you all broken is what I fear.
I may not be here physically, so no longer will I be seen,
I'm fighting hard, but I'm left stuck somewhere in between.
......