I'm waiting for the man I hope to wed.
I've never seen him - that's the funny part.
I promised I would wear a rose of red,
Pinned on my coat above my fluttered heart,
So that he'd know me - a precaution wise,
Because I wrote him I was twenty-three,
And Oh such heaps and heaps of silly lies. . .
So when we meet what will he think of me?
At school I never gained a prize,
Proving myself the model ass;
Yet how I watched the wistful eyes,
And cheered my mates who topped the class.
No envy in my heart I found,
Yet bone was worthier to own
Those precious books in vellum bound,
Than I, a dreamer and a drone.
No prize at school I ever gained
I am back from up the country -- very sorry that I went --
Seeking for the Southern poets' land whereon to pitch my tent;
I have lost a lot of idols, which were broken on the track --
Burnt a lot of fancy verses, and I'm glad that I am back.
Further out may be the pleasant scenes of which our poets boast,
But I think the country's rather more inviting round the coast --
Anyway, I'll stay at present at a boarding-house in town
Drinking beer and lemon-squashes, taking baths and cooling down.
Sunny plains! Great Scot! -- those burning wastes of barren soil and sand
'Tis true my garments threadbare are,
And sorry poor I seem;
But inly I am richer far
Than any poet's dream.
For I've a hidden life no one
Can ever hope to see;
A sacred sanctuary none
May share with me.
Aloof I stand from out the strife,
My eyes have cried
a million times,
now as dry
as dessert sand.
My heart has sank
with no strength to rise
from the well
that once held hope.
I grabbed my coat and took off
Went out for a walk
I know I've been told
That the streets are cold.
The moment I took a step
I know I'm not safe
But it doesn't matter
Because I...didn't even matter.
I hope I made the right decision
It's all for good
Call me selfish
Call me impatient
But it took me a thousand nights thinking if it could be better to finish this.
I'll take all the blame
Call me stupid
Call me crap
But flicker was the last resort I had.
Why you ...
Did not accept
Exhausted of apologizing
To everyone for everything I've done
And sometimes for things that I've not,
For all my stupid decisions and actions,
For doing something that I'm not even guilty of,
But your ego demands my apology,
So here it is...
Forgive me for being myself
Forgive me for prioritizing myself over you
Sometimes I wish I could relate to all those poems and quotes,
I wish our conversations and hugs were more frequent,
I wish we could be more comfortable in each other's company,
And ask how our days went.
I know you said it all out of anger,
But I can't get myself to forget.
Those words of yours pierced through my heart,
They weren't meant to, I bet.