There's a part of me that grieves
And always will
A part of me that has gone dark
The light will no more shine there
A piece that cries
Ceaselessy
Mourning the loss
Mourning the life that never was
But was a part of me
The rest of me moves on
......
I am not thin
For my stomach is not flat
My skin no longer tight
And I often see myself as fat
I am not sexy
And I am not tall
My ass is not round
And my breasts are not full
......
Postnatal depression is real
And this is how I feel
Sad, lonely, depressed, withdrawn,
No enjoyment and emotionally worn
I have no bond with my baby, none at all,
My emotions bounce about like a ping-pong ball.
My maternal instincts are very fleeting
A now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t type of thing.
But surprisingly the pregnancy gave me joy
More so when the sonographer said “It’s a boy!”
......
Not too many horizons
when you live in a small home
with small windows
and thick blinders
and only face the smoky ceiling
as you sit sprawled on the bed,
bottle in hand, more empty than full,
cigarette between fingers, more ashes
than light.
Work starts only the day after tomorrow
......
ehold the womb
That ancient room
Where life and death begin
Behold the womb
My child's tomb
A soul never to be born
Behold the womb
Where death does loom
......
Postnatal depression is real
And this is how I feel
Sad, lonely, depressed, withdrawn,
No enjoyment and emotionally worn
I have no bond with my baby, none at all,
My emotions bounce about like a ping-pong ball.
My maternal instincts are very fleeting
A now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t type of thing.
But surprisingly the pregnancy gave me joy
More so when the sonographer said “It’s a boy!”
......
I am not thin
For my stomach is not flat
My skin no longer tight
And I often see myself as fat
I am not sexy
And I am not tall
My ass is not round
And my breasts are not full
......
Not too many horizons
when you live in a small home
with small windows
and thick blinders
and only face the smoky ceiling
as you sit sprawled on the bed,
bottle in hand, more empty than full,
cigarette between fingers, more ashes
than light.
Work starts only the day after tomorrow
......
There's a part of me that grieves
And always will
A part of me that has gone dark
The light will no more shine there
A piece that cries
Ceaselessy
Mourning the loss
Mourning the life that never was
But was a part of me
The rest of me moves on
......
ehold the womb
That ancient room
Where life and death begin
Behold the womb
My child's tomb
A soul never to be born
Behold the womb
Where death does loom
......