I woke up in this place. It's dark, I can't see. I don't know where I am.
I call out for help. Can anyone hear me? I don't think they can.
Fear sets in. I freeze.
My breath gets shallow and I drop to my knees.
Are my eyes closed? Are they open? Why can't I see?
What is going on? I need to stop and to breathe.
I breathe in. I breathe out. I breathe in. And out.
Is this a dream? Am I dead? What's this about?
My heart is pounding. Like it wants out of my chest.
I can feel it, so I'm real. But what about the rest?
......
Everything has already been said
I don’t need to repeat the words inside my head
Don’t need to say how I feel or
Tell you that I can’t take it anymore
Disappointed writing this
You’re telling me you’re proud
It just feels like I might miss
Out on things, the voices are too loud
......
I am no stranger to hopelessness,
I have lived through experiences that no one at my age should,
But today, I truly know hopelessness
I sit in my car, the makeup I spent so long carefully perfecting, ruined by tears,
It wasn’t supposed to be like this
I am at the prime of my life, my golden years
This is where I come of age
The sickness in me says otherwise
It clips my wings forcing me to watch as everyone else gets to fly as high as their hearts desire
My heart longs to have what they have
......
I come from a dark place,
A place of too many why’s and not enough how’s.
A place where questions have no answers.
A place that I call reality.
They ask me to do it, so I do it.
They ask why I did it, I did it for them.
They say to do it for me.
Who is me, and why should I care?
......
“I’m here for you”
She says with a smile
The genuinity in her words palpable
But still they seem to me superficial
But I know they aren’t
The absurdity of it all crushes me
Half-truths told
And still I resent myself
......
My head is a heavy boat.
Full of lead lined thoughts locked in iron chains.
A swell hits the top sails, a wave rocks the moors and everything topples to one side.
The boat tips. I can feel it tipping.
The bottle holds a message though. The drift will take it ashore.
The barge will be just the kindling of a story told once before.
Your words like waves
Wash over me as I tried to be brave
But I couldn’t save me
All the things you called me that I can’t repeat
Thinking about the past I wish I could delete
I couldn’t save me
The salt-water fills my eyes
I watch as my soul dies
......
“I’m here for you”
She says with a smile
The genuinity in her words palpable
But still they seem to me superficial
But I know they aren’t
The absurdity of it all crushes me
Half-truths told
And still I resent myself
......
I am no stranger to hopelessness,
I have lived through experiences that no one at my age should,
But today, I truly know hopelessness
I sit in my car, the makeup I spent so long carefully perfecting, ruined by tears,
It wasn’t supposed to be like this
I am at the prime of my life, my golden years
This is where I come of age
The sickness in me says otherwise
It clips my wings forcing me to watch as everyone else gets to fly as high as their hearts desire
My heart longs to have what they have
......
I woke up in this place. It's dark, I can't see. I don't know where I am.
I call out for help. Can anyone hear me? I don't think they can.
Fear sets in. I freeze.
My breath gets shallow and I drop to my knees.
Are my eyes closed? Are they open? Why can't I see?
What is going on? I need to stop and to breathe.
I breathe in. I breathe out. I breathe in. And out.
Is this a dream? Am I dead? What's this about?
My heart is pounding. Like it wants out of my chest.
I can feel it, so I'm real. But what about the rest?
......