Nothing makes me happier than her—
the way her name feels
like a sunrise pressed into my chest,
how her laugh
sounded like something I used to pray for
before I knew how to put it into words.
And nothing makes me sadder than her—
the way she became
a recurring character in poems
......
I think I started forgetting you
on a Wednesday afternoon,
somewhere between folding laundry
and listening to the rain tap the window.
It didn’t hurt,
not at first.
Just a small,
unnoticeable shift in the weather.
You were never mine.
......
I’ve never known love
Grace, I showed
Intelligence, I possessed
Attention, I did not lack
With a man always at my back
Countless hearts, I used
Until they bruised
Meticulously, I dwindled men
......
Slipping.
Faster and faster.
Why won't you stay.
You don't need to go any faster.
I can keep up.
Promise me you will wait.
My hand is slipping may we please go slower.
Your hand moving away faster.
Please I want to hold onto you longer.
You're letting me go.
......
You might just be my ADHD of the month,
But my mind keeps running to you, replaying the gentleness of your touch.
It might just be my deprivation of love,
But with every chance, my heart is quick to lend its trust.
I no longer lust, nor do I desire the unjust,
But when you fill my head and steal my breath, I must deny my flesh just to convince myself that your presence is enough.
......
I think I started forgetting you
on a Wednesday afternoon,
somewhere between folding laundry
and listening to the rain tap the window.
It didn’t hurt,
not at first.
Just a small,
unnoticeable shift in the weather.
You were never mine.
......
Nothing makes me happier than her—
the way her name feels
like a sunrise pressed into my chest,
how her laugh
sounded like something I used to pray for
before I knew how to put it into words.
And nothing makes me sadder than her—
the way she became
a recurring character in poems
......
I strive to cast your shadow from my mind,
yet there you dwell,in corners hard to find.
Like whispers woven through the silent air,
your presence lingers,haunting everywhere.
I chase new dawns to wash you from my sight,
but memories emerge with morning's light.
In dreams, you wander through my night's domain,
a phantom tethered to my heart's refrain.
......
Slipping.
Faster and faster.
Why won't you stay.
You don't need to go any faster.
I can keep up.
Promise me you will wait.
My hand is slipping may we please go slower.
Your hand moving away faster.
Please I want to hold onto you longer.
You're letting me go.
......
I often stop to think about where you might be.
I stare into space and wonder about how we buried our dreams without saying a word.
And when the came and you said you were moving, I made sure to leave you first.
It's the insecurity of enjoying life alone that guts me to my core and rattles me deeper than bone.
I can't say I don't think about us 5 years ago.
Drunk under the stars with your arm as my pillow.
It wouldn't be true to say you didn't treat me right.
But it wouldn't be false if I said that sometimes when I was with you, I felt colder than winter's driest nights.
......