I have seen hundreds of nighttimes just like this
Stars ablaze until they rupture bursting into flames
Fading into pitch black
Reminds me the lights I used to keep
Have gone away
Nothing ever stays from here on out
I was the bridge each individual I used to know
Had to cross
......
I laughed. I laughed and you didn’t know why. I laughed because I knew it was over. I laughed because all the stereotypes are true. I laughed at how anticlimactic that was. I laughed at myself for knowing it was over but not saying anything just so you can reach that conclusion yourself so that you can break up with me just for the sake of sparing your pride. I laughed that at the moment i felt betrayed by the person closest to me and i still picked you over myself. I laughed at the frailness of a love that was forged by the fire of adversity when it faced the coldness of fear. Maybe i’m not in love with you but i sure as hell love you.
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I used to dote on my baby dolls. I cooked the finest plastic cuisines for anyone who would pretend to taste. I didn’t feel compelled to clean back then. And I was never Mama or Mrs., even then, I knew those names were not for me.
Somewhere through the years, maybe at my best friend’s parents’ kitchen table, or on the firm couch I spent exactly 50 minutes on a week, I realized I was not playing anymore. I cooked to survive and cleaned for medicinal purposes. The house ran well, but there was no playing.
So, for the third time, I let you back in. Together we play house, you cook daunting meals, I clean up after board games, and we dote on our friends' dogs. I know I’ll never be Mama, that neither of us is the marrying kind, and that I can survive going back to just running things, so for as long as we can, let's just keep playing house.
I dreamt of you
We were together
We were happy
We were sharing moments
With gladness
It's my heart want to say
I love you
I missed you
I want to hug you
......
xxx
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I used to dote on my baby dolls. I cooked the finest plastic cuisines for anyone who would pretend to taste. I didn’t feel compelled to clean back then. And I was never Mama or Mrs., even then, I knew those names were not for me.
Somewhere through the years, maybe at my best friend’s parents’ kitchen table, or on the firm couch I spent exactly 50 minutes on a week, I realized I was not playing anymore. I cooked to survive and cleaned for medicinal purposes. The house ran well, but there was no playing.
So, for the third time, I let you back in. Together we play house, you cook daunting meals, I clean up after board games, and we dote on our friends' dogs. I know I’ll never be Mama, that neither of us is the marrying kind, and that I can survive going back to just running things, so for as long as we can, let's just keep playing house.
xxx
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The sidewalks I was so familiar with are now rushing rivers.
The memories in these corners are fading away.
The air around me burning an invisible fire.
The end is here.
I see myself falling down an invisible cliff.
A never-ending darkness, with a growing fire at the bottom.
A roaring scream erupts as the flames rise to take me far away.
I melted with the fire, igniting my heart into streaks of blues and reds.
I am the fire.
......
[after Madeleine Thien]
Do not tell me we have nothing. We have dew linking lithe
dandelions at our feet, steeped lavender and sugar rising to the
sun like champagne flutes. Suckled honey rolling through ground
away from home’s watchful eyes. We have whispered tongues lifted
from linguistic baggage, treasured remnants of our intertwisted
lifelines continentally knotted. Frantic mapping, path westbound,
flights rushed to lulls with in-betweens where you teach me
how to laugh. We had heads shaken loose against gritted teeth,
......
He began to grieve something he hadn’t lost
Yet
The melancholy in his eyes was haunting,
They said so much that he didn’t need to speak for her to see it coming
......