There's no use in regret. You can't change anything.
Your mother died unhappy with the way you turned
out. You and your father were not on speaking terms
when he died, and you left your wife for no good
reason. Well, it's past. You may as well regret missing
out on the conquest of Mexico. That would have been
just your kind of thing back when you were eighteen:
a bunch of murderous Spaniards, out to destroy a
culture and get rich. On the other hand, the Aztecs
were no great shakes either. It's hard to know whom
......
If I died
Would you be there darling
To carry the burden of abandonment in your shoulders
I mean my corpse
Would you be there
So you could taste the long rainy nights
Through your tears
Tears of pain, maybe regret
If I died
Would you be there
......
Running while I best abdicate,
Can’t let you dictate the rest.
Family familiar, failing foundling.
Wills and wells, halls and hells.
Walls and falls.
All’s well when whiles’ done.
My son, my son, Babylon.
I have understood my mother in the present weather.
Her colourless, toothless, though contended a smile
Naif, fair, with dappled on face,
Age and height middled
Beautiful, my ‘maa’ she was.
In winter, she caught the ability to forget,
Forget her past, her present.... future-
Everything, but not everything, not me.
I was the nectar if bee she was,
......
Nights, by the light of whatever would burn:
tallow, tinder and the silken rope
of wick that burns slow, slow
we wove the baskets from the long gold strands
of wheat that were another silk: worm soul
spun the one, yellow seed in the dark soil, the other.
The fields lay fallow, swollen with frost,
expectant winter. Mud clung to the edges
of our gowns; we had hung back like shadows
......
pining for the days when i fried my brain
sobriety hasn’t made me less insane
we partied so hard i forgot my name
but i still remember the rules of the game
let's build a time machine just to forget the pain
go to a place where there was nothing to prove or attain
when my thoughts flowed like a steady rain
instead of this never-ending hurricane
remind myself of the lessons i learnt
survival through change is the main point
......
pining for the days when i fried my brain
sobriety hasn’t made me less insane
we partied so hard i forgot my name
but i still remember the rules of the game
let's build a time machine just to forget the pain
go to a place where there was nothing to prove or attain
when my thoughts flowed like a steady rain
instead of this never-ending hurricane
remind myself of the lessons i learnt
survival through change is the main point
......
You'll probably never see this
Never read this
You probably don't even know
That I'm a writer
You were proud of me
For as long as it was convenient
You supported me
For as long as it supported your good dad persona
......
Every step I take,
Every move I make,
Everything I do
Ends up a mistake,
I fail,
And I try,
To start all over again
But
......
Running while I best abdicate,
Can’t let you dictate the rest.
Family familiar, failing foundling.
Wills and wells, halls and hells.
Walls and falls.
All’s well when whiles’ done.
My son, my son, Babylon.