Samuel Cody

July 6, 1991 - Massachusetts

For the Love of My Father

There's always pain in the music of the night
It summons all my broken dreams to come dance about my mind,
And in their fractured shadows, I contemplate your plight
Yet in that frantic jig, no answers can I find.
Nothing I consider can justify your bitter flight,
When by all your wretched flaws you were confined
All my strength of will cannot manifest my dreams that we'd reunite.
Were you scared of yourself, or this child you left behind?

My heart bleeds with tormented hate, as I sit beneath the midnight sun
And recall the moments of our twisted, brutal history,
My soul stings with lamented hope as I think of all those things we should have done
And I silently yield to the whims of fate, like an ancient mangled tree.
Still, I wonder what might have been were you strong enough not to run
Would I be better than I am today, or would my life be wreathed in misery?
In your absence did fate see fit that a stronger man has become?
What was it that caused you so fervently from your life to flee?

Despite everything come to pass, I still held hope that we'd meet again
Even in all my burning rage, for the loss of my father my soul still sobs.
Throughout the years, my dreams of you I've faithfully sustained
Good and ill, they scamper about my mind like a sickly, feckless mob
And by them all I am both empowered and constrained.
For when you died I did find that of any absolution I was robbed
Yet my desire to atone for that bloody, hateful past I've maintained,
And I've found that with a burning love for you, my heart still throbs.
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