We feel it in our bones,
we feel it in our muscles.
We act our way through it
so they won't see the struggle.
We put on a fake smile
and say that we're "O.K."
We lie and say that were fine
that we're just tired all day.
......
Thou shalt let bygones be gone.
Thou shalt find no joy in the glory of old triumph.
Though shalt transcend the tyranny of quondam devotion.
Thou shalt not seek solace in senescent sentiments.
Thou shalt not attempt to fulfil the fantasy of finessing the finite into the infinite.
......
Why do you do this to me. Convince me to care the moment I stopped. How are your words so powerful, to me. How do your lips pull me in. Why. do I let this. happen. When did you get this power over me. When will you give it back. Will I ever truly be done with you?
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often i wonder
how far are we willing to go for love?
for the promise that someone--
no matter who it is,
will throw their gaze out in a room full of people
and land on you and you only
every time, always and forever?
it is surprising that the memories of us
......
No matter how much you love it, a flower will soon decay,
For it's beauty last but a moment, and will be forgotten when it fades away.
No matter how much you love it, friendship cannot last forever,
It's duration is like that of a flower, and like one, it too will wither.
No matter how much you miss it, no matter how many tears you shed,
What's forgotten is lost forever, and forever will it stay dead.
Leaving eighteen
What is wrong with me?
Every single night before I close my eyes
This question plays in my head on repeat
I know I'll never be able to answer
This question
Because I don't know what is wrong with me...
I don't think there is anything wrong with me
I'm just drowning in a pool of self hate
......
Thou shalt let bygones be gone.
Thou shalt find no joy in the glory of old triumph.
Though shalt transcend the tyranny of quondam devotion.
Thou shalt not seek solace in senescent sentiments.
Thou shalt not attempt to fulfil the fantasy of finessing the finite into the infinite.
......
It all makes sense now
Those nights I deprived myself from sleep
Those days I wondered where and how
And those moments I combat with anxiety.
I lost count of the times I endured infidelity
But that isn't the only case I had to deal with
My vision was clear but I feel like I'm blinded
Too bad, ignoring all the clues became a habit.
......
often i wonder
how far are we willing to go for love?
for the promise that someone--
no matter who it is,
will throw their gaze out in a room full of people
and land on you and you only
every time, always and forever?
it is surprising that the memories of us
......
Q: what went wrong?
A: i still don't know. we were different in all the ways that mattered.
.
memories are all i have now
but i can't hang on to memories alone
and stand in the winter of our relationship
......