Part of me suspected we would crash and burn
I just didn't know when
Part of me needed to get in that car with you then.
One hi
One sheepish smile
Such a nice day
for a ride.
Quickly you made me feel
......
We feel it in our bones,
we feel it in our muscles.
We act our way through it
so they won't see the struggle.
We put on a fake smile
and say that we're "O.K."
We lie and say that were fine
that we're just tired all day.
......
For months I was unable to listen. Thankfully that has passed. It still feels different though I’m sure it always will. You are music, to me. It’s taking some time separate the two. I realize You are not music just as you are not love. Two extraordinary and unexplainable things. Something you could never be. Maybe I haven’t lost too much.
Continue readingI wonder, were you it? Will anyone ever love me the way you loved me, or were you it? Will anyone ever lose sleep thinking about me, pining over me the way you did, or were you it? I think you were it. I can’t sleep because I think you were it. Because now there is nothing. It’s done. And I will never again be loved so deeply. And I will never again be wanted so deeply. And I will never again be the reason he can’t sleep. How could you have ever loved me. There is nothing here deserving of love. How did you see this mess as something worth loving. Will anyone else see me the way you did. Please tell me you weren’t it. Please tell me you were only the beginning. tell me there is more.
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Thou shalt let bygones be gone.
Thou shalt find no joy in the glory of old triumph.
Though shalt transcend the tyranny of quondam devotion.
Thou shalt not seek solace in senescent sentiments.
Thou shalt not attempt to fulfil the fantasy of finessing the finite into the infinite.
......
Unrequited love, a bittersweet symphony
That plays in the depths of my heart
Like a melody that never finds it's harmony.
From head to toe, I fell for you
Every inch of your being captivating my soul.
But to you, I was just a passing glance.
A mere object of desire, a sexual art.
I spent sleepless nights pinning for you,
......
Leaving eighteen
What is wrong with me?
Every single night before I close my eyes
This question plays in my head on repeat
I know I'll never be able to answer
This question
Because I don't know what is wrong with me...
I don't think there is anything wrong with me
I'm just drowning in a pool of self hate
......
Thou shalt let bygones be gone.
Thou shalt find no joy in the glory of old triumph.
Though shalt transcend the tyranny of quondam devotion.
Thou shalt not seek solace in senescent sentiments.
Thou shalt not attempt to fulfil the fantasy of finessing the finite into the infinite.
......
It all makes sense now
Those nights I deprived myself from sleep
Those days I wondered where and how
And those moments I combat with anxiety.
I lost count of the times I endured infidelity
But that isn't the only case I had to deal with
My vision was clear but I feel like I'm blinded
Too bad, ignoring all the clues became a habit.
......
often i wonder
how far are we willing to go for love?
for the promise that someone--
no matter who it is,
will throw their gaze out in a room full of people
and land on you and you only
every time, always and forever?
it is surprising that the memories of us
......