"I wish that noone cared," I said, "I wish I lived for me"
"As long as you still care," she said, "you never will be free"
"I dont think I'm scared," I said, "I'm trying something new"
"This is all too much," she said, "I think I'm scared of you"
"I'll give you what you want," I said, "if you just need some space"
"I'll just close my eyes," she said, "and you can touch my face"
"I'm no longer numb," I said, "I now know how to feel"
"This is not my life," she said, "None of this is real"
"I wish that you still cared," I said, "I wish you lived for me"
"This may not get fixed," she said, 'but come sit next to me"
......
One last day in this neighborhood.
Leaving behind years of memories both bad and good.
I’m so tired of being misunderstood.
I wouldn’t stay here if I could.
I’m halfway to Heaven.
I’ve already been through hell.
Yeah, I’m halfway to Heaven. I don’t even know myself.
Seems like everybody wants to control me.
Telling me how my life is supposed to be.
I’m tired of living in captivity.
......
I saw him packing all those clothes I knew,
all those clothes I had hugged.
And when he closed that luggage,
he closed me in there.
All I wanted,
I wanted to scream.
Please,
don't leave.
I kept silently lying on that bed instead.
When I came back, he was gone.
My mother was in the bathroom
crying, my sister in her crib
restless but asleep. The sun
was shining in the bay window,
the grass had not been cut.
No one mentioned the other woman,
nights he spent in that stranger's house.
I sat at my desk and wrote him a note.
......
Wahiawa is still
a red dirt town
where the sticky smell
of pineapples
being lopped off
in the low-lying fields
rises to mix
with the minty leaves
of eucalyptus
in the bordering gulch.
......
I am so broken, its hard to be numb
I don't like the person that I have become
I fell In love quickly and he made me smile
he said he would stay at least for a while
we hopped on a bus to take us down south
nothing but beauty came out of his mouth
a few days of happy, then time for the pain
too much of sunshine brings out all the rain
a tearful goodbye that we sealed with a hug
then back to my house for a substitute drug
......
"I wish that noone cared," I said, "I wish I lived for me"
"As long as you still care," she said, "you never will be free"
"I dont think I'm scared," I said, "I'm trying something new"
"This is all too much," she said, "I think I'm scared of you"
"I'll give you what you want," I said, "if you just need some space"
"I'll just close my eyes," she said, "and you can touch my face"
"I'm no longer numb," I said, "I now know how to feel"
"This is not my life," she said, "None of this is real"
"I wish that you still cared," I said, "I wish you lived for me"
"This may not get fixed," she said, 'but come sit next to me"
......
I was an eminent, solar physicist, like the blushing rose, craving renown.
Each butterscotch morning I drove to work, and toiled until red sundown.
The observatory was the place I loved, keeping watch on our nearest star;
Like a pale moon that sits staring all night, its gaze near, anyplace we are.
I studied intense sunspots daily, as has been done over a thousand years,
To gain comprehensive understanding, as the weatherman into sky peers.
Fantastic, fandango dawn was fond memory, when faithful friends visited,
......
I saw him packing all those clothes I knew,
all those clothes I had hugged.
And when he closed that luggage,
he closed me in there.
All I wanted,
I wanted to scream.
Please,
don't leave.
I kept silently lying on that bed instead.
One last day in this neighborhood.
Leaving behind years of memories both bad and good.
I’m so tired of being misunderstood.
I wouldn’t stay here if I could.
I’m halfway to Heaven.
I’ve already been through hell.
Yeah, I’m halfway to Heaven. I don’t even know myself.
Seems like everybody wants to control me.
Telling me how my life is supposed to be.
I’m tired of living in captivity.
......