Humour Poems
A Little List of Greetings
by James V Daniels
Merry Christmas one and all, a time for joy and cheer. So I made this little list of greetings, would you like to hear?
Merry Christmas Saudi, for you we bring new weapons. We hope you will enjoy them when you fire them on Yemen.
Merry Christmas EU, for you we bring an agreement (by the end of March). And if none, we'll extend the transition period, though we have no right to ask.
Merry Christmas Schools, for you we bring more funding. Though not quite as much as potholes, which, we thought you would find touching.
Merry Christmas MI5 for you we bring much data. But if nothing to hide you have nothing to fear, so tell THAT to all the haters.
......
Changes
by Mustafa Jafari
Oh he’s ever-changing
But still in love with who he was
Never perfect, yet always enough
Heart and intentions are invariably to please
Oof his demons get the best of him
Evolving daily to meet his higher-self
But gahh damn! he seems busy
One day they’ll connect and see
He was inside him, the whole journey
That day is not too far
......
Ode to Telethons
by Brady Jones
Oh good cause, why must you taunt me with your ethical ways?
You tempt us into turning over my hard earned money for “charitable reasons”.
You torture me with emotional testomonials, coaxing me even closer to a generous donation.
Animals in need, a country in crisis, it is all so moving!
You put a number on the screen forcing my hand ever closer to the phone.
You bombard me with more!
A child’s dying wish, a starving veteran out on the streets, let me help!
Finally they ask me one simple question.
Will you help?
......
A Boy Named Sue
by Khayelihle Bongiswa Gamedze
When I was born I was too ugly
That my parents didn't like me.
So they named me Sue
For I looked like a shoe;
Life is tough for a guy like me.
I went to Hell to visit the Devil
by Tammy Darby
Just to see what it was like
The smell of brimstone and smoke
Torture and mayhem
Burning heads impaled upon flaming spikes
I shook hands with the evil one
Of course, horned and dressed in red
Very cordial he spoke
Welcome friend mi casa es su casa
But absolutely no communing with the dead
......
The Nigerian Politician
by Joseph Ogbonna
Bloated belly, swollen cheeks,
and a sunken stiff neck on robust torso.
Yet well fitted in flowing apparels;
falling and being raised frequently
from side to side.
Obscene opulence is your delight,
your prestige and your pride;
amassed unlawfully by the pen,
ever wet for your deception
and thievery.
......
A Boy Named Sue
by Khayelihle Bongiswa Gamedze
When I was born I was too ugly
That my parents didn't like me.
So they named me Sue
For I looked like a shoe;
Life is tough for a guy like me.
Ode to Telethons
by Brady Jones
Oh good cause, why must you taunt me with your ethical ways?
You tempt us into turning over my hard earned money for “charitable reasons”.
You torture me with emotional testomonials, coaxing me even closer to a generous donation.
Animals in need, a country in crisis, it is all so moving!
You put a number on the screen forcing my hand ever closer to the phone.
You bombard me with more!
A child’s dying wish, a starving veteran out on the streets, let me help!
Finally they ask me one simple question.
Will you help?
......
Changes
by Mustafa Jafari
Oh he’s ever-changing
But still in love with who he was
Never perfect, yet always enough
Heart and intentions are invariably to please
Oof his demons get the best of him
Evolving daily to meet his higher-self
But gahh damn! he seems busy
One day they’ll connect and see
He was inside him, the whole journey
That day is not too far
......
The biscuit poem.
by Gautham Shankar.
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