An eighteen hour trip with two layovers
But when the mechanical wings finally breach the clouds
It's worth it
This land, however distant, is lush and green
Hills mark the skyline and square patches show the division of farms like a patchwork quilt
White dots speckle the ground and I never realized so many sheep existed
It's different here
I can drink despite only being eighteen
Buses and trains take me places I only knew cars to take me before
......
There’s this pink blanket I have
Worn and weathered like a kind old woman.
I had it when I had no teeth,
I had it when the only emotions I could articulate were agony and joyous laughter.
Every time we left the house that blanket had to be in my grubby little hands,
Now my mother can no longer pick me up like she used to and I have grown into my nose.
It sits on my bed, duller and rougher than I remember
filled with years worth of tears, anger and a yearning to be aged 10 forever.
longing to hear me laugh with my whole chest like I used to.
......
18 years of
“Look after each other,”
Making sure the other was alright
After a small fight or major disappointment
18 years we’ve been together,
Literally since the womb,
Teaching each other and
Knowing everything about one another’s lives
......
He's as high as a georgia pine, my father'd say, half laughing. southern trees
as measure, metaphor. highways lined with kudzu-covered southern trees.
fuchsia, lavender, white, light pink, purple : crape myrtle bouquets burst
open on sturdy branches of skin-smooth bark : my favorite southern trees.
one hundred degrees in the shade : we settle into still pools of humidity, moss-
dark, beneath live oaks. southern heat makes us grateful for southern trees.
the maples in our front yard flew in spring on helicopter wings. in fall, we
......
You missed it when you walked in,
The tiles in the bathroom that looked like an ogre,
That had captured my imagination as a child.
You missed that the bottom stair was harder,
The leak in the upstairs bathroom that was neglected and left to the care of a bowl,
Emptied weekly as if this chore was less than fixing it.
You missed the dent in the paint from the arguments,
Doors slammed haphazardly into walls,
The stain on the carpet from way back when,
......
Don't forget
Don't let it slip
Grind it up till that lil bird squeaks
Breathe it through that mucky water till you finally grasp the concept
Your love was always bitter
Not quite happy nor quite sad
Trauma is your favorite word and I'm tired of learning it
Get ditsy off the idea
That I'm
So goddamn
......
I wanted it maybe even begged
But once the light reaches you I know what it really means
The want and the need
The adverse effects of loneliness
It's unfortunate that we can say words without any true weight behind them
It's all fun and games in late night shades
Whisky tongues and empty years
The stars curse me and you play out their deed
I know better
I know what I deserve
......
Every morning I rise
And brew a cup of coffee.
The beans are freshly ground,
Bubbling on the stove,
I plan each and every task.
Proud of the collection
That I have curated
Of beans from near and far.
But as I take a sip,
......
Scared;
Scared to see the world beyond the shade I've always gazed through. Afraid that there might be something that I've missed. Crippled with this feeling of anxiety that I don't belong that I'm not wanted that there's no way out for me. I'm afraid of my hopes and dreams, what once seemed like a lifetime away slowly creeping in….ticktock. it says, "are you ready yet? What have you to show for yourself" in debt and alone i silence myself for if I was to speak what could I say for myself?
An eighteen hour trip with two layovers
But when the mechanical wings finally breach the clouds
It's worth it
This land, however distant, is lush and green
Hills mark the skyline and square patches show the division of farms like a patchwork quilt
White dots speckle the ground and I never realized so many sheep existed
It's different here
I can drink despite only being eighteen
Buses and trains take me places I only knew cars to take me before
......