Funny Poems
The List Of Famous Hats
by James Tate
Napoleon's hat is an obvious choice I guess to list as a famous
hat, but that's not the hat I have in mind. That was his hat for
show. I am thinking of his private bathing cap, which in all hon-
esty wasn't much different than the one any jerk might buy at a
corner drugstore now, except for two minor eccentricities. The
first one isn't even funny: Simply it was a white rubber bathing
cap, but too small. Napoleon led such a hectic life ever since his
childhood, even farther back than that, that he never had a
chance to buy a new bathing cap and still as a grown-up--well,
he didn't really grow that much, but his head did: He was a pin-
......
There Was An Old Poop From Poughkeepsie
by John Updike
There was an old poop from Poughkeepsie,
Who tended, at night, to be tipsy.
Said he, ''My last steps
Aren't propelled by just Schweppes! '' -
That peppy old poop from Poughkeepsie.
Where Were You?
by Warren P. Althouse
When I took sick and stayed in bed
Not one call to check if I was alive or dead.
When you were lonely, I was always there
But for me nobody would ever dare.
I sat and made sure to share my car
When I needed help, it was always too far.
Sometimes, didn't have any, but always shared money
When I was down and out, no help, real funny.
I eat alone in restaurants, my holiday meals
Had you over, cupboards were bare, no big deal.
......
My Little Daughter And Me
by Marian Wheaton
We lay on the ground in the tall green grass
And looked at the blue, blue sky.
We watched the drifting of snowy clouds
My little daughter and I
Then I noticed a shape like a fleecy lamb
Among the mounds of white
I pointed it out to her searching eye
And heard her cry of delight.
Soon she was seeing many forms
In the clouds up over her head
......
The Triantiwontigongolope
by Clarence Michael Dennis
There's a very funny insect that you do not often spy,
And it isn't quite a spider, and it isn't quite a fly;
It is something like a beetle, and a little like a bee,
But nothing like a wooly grub that climbs upon a tree.
Its name is quite a hard one, but you'll learn it soon, I hope.
So try:
Tri-
Tri-anti-wonti-
Triantiwontigongolope.
......
Sisyphus
by Peter Quitadamo
The laundry and dishes
pile up. My wife says she knows
how Sisyphus feels.
Beholder
by Peter Quitadamo
Beauty is in the one
who beholds. Will you hold bees
and look at me now?
Gift
by Peter Quitadamo
Each day is a gift.
Some are a beautiful ring.
Some ill-fitting socks.
Magnum opus
by Peter Quitadamo
My magnum opus
is not losing it on the
fools. Mostly, myself.
What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart
Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear
And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat
And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine
And an Ox call Leon
......
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Clarence Michael Dennis (5 poems about Funny)
C. J. Dennis] (7 September 1876 - 22 June 1938 / Auburn, South Australia -
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