Funny Poems

Popular Funny Poems
There Was An Old Poop From Poughkeepsie
by John Updike

There was an old poop from Poughkeepsie,
Who tended, at night, to be tipsy.
Said he, ''My last steps
Aren't propelled by just Schweppes! '' -
That peppy old poop from Poughkeepsie.

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The Prospector
by Robert William Service

I strolled up old Bonanza, where I staked in ninety-eight,
A-purpose to revisit the old claim.
I kept thinking mighty sadly of the funny ways of Fate,
And the lads who once were with me in the game.
Poor boys, they're down-and-outers, and there's scarcely one to-day
Can show a dozen colors in his poke;
And me, I'm still prospecting, old and battered, gaunt and gray,
And I'm looking for a grub-stake, and I'm broke.

I strolled up old Bonanza. The same old moon looked down;

......

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American Primitive
by William Jay Smith

Look at him there in his stovepipe hat,
His high-top shoes, and his handsome collar;
Only my Daddy could look like that,
And I love my Daddy like he loves his Dollar.

The screen door bangs, and it sounds so funny--
There he is in a shower of gold;
His pockets are stuffed with folding money,
His lips are blue, and his hands feel cold.


......

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Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money
by Pam Ayres

It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.

All up and down the country,

......

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What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart

Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear

And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat

And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine

And an Ox call Leon

......

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Recent Funny Poems
What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart

Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear

And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat

And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine

And an Ox call Leon

......

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Merry and Bright
by Evelyn Judy Buehler

Christmas was only a few hours away.
Santa and elves were coming on the sleigh.
The night was filled with fair sights,
'Til the clash with festive lights.
Soon flashing, bright nosed Rudolph, led the way!

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Interview with Mrs Parker
by Khayelihle Bongiswa Gamedze

I admit I have a thing
For brainy girls with glasses;

But there's just this one thing:
It's always glasses more than asses.

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A Boy Named Sue
by Khayelihle Bongiswa Gamedze

When I was born I was too ugly
That my parents didn't like me.
So they named me Sue
For I looked like a shoe;
Life is tough for a guy like me.

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Chemistry Teacher
by Khayelihle Bongiswa Gamedze

My teacher was not so good as yours seems to be,
His name was Goodwill and he taught us Chemistry.
He always wanted us to answer difficult questions,
And beat you strong if you cannot balance equations.
If you are late in class he'd twist and twist your ear
Until it falls to the ground and you'll pick it there.
He was so strong when he held you you'd wet your pants...
(He had gigantic hands I once gave him a compliment)
But a person can survive twenty four strokes I was the experiment,
Don't ever disturb Goodwill and give him a comment!

......

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