Funny Poems

Popular Funny Poems
Afternoon In School The Last Lesson
by David Herbert Lawrence

When will the bell ring, and end this weariness?
How long have they tugged the leash, and strained apart
My pack of unruly hounds: I cannot start
Them again on a quarry of knowledge they hate to hunt,
I can haul them and urge them no more.
No more can I endure to bear the brunt
Of the books that lie out on the desks: a full three score
Of several insults of blotted pages and scrawl
Of slovenly work that they have offered me.
I am sick, and tired more than any thrall

......

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The Triantiwontigongolope
by Clarence Michael Dennis

There's a very funny insect that you do not often spy,
And it isn't quite a spider, and it isn't quite a fly;
It is something like a beetle, and a little like a bee,
But nothing like a wooly grub that climbs upon a tree.
Its name is quite a hard one, but you'll learn it soon, I hope.
So try:
Tri-
Tri-anti-wonti-
Triantiwontigongolope.


......

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The Painted Ceiling
by Amy Lowell

My Grandpapa lives in a wonderful house
With a great many windows and doors,
There are stairs that go up, and stairs that go down,
And such beautiful, slippery floors.

But of all of the rooms, even mother's and mine,
And the bookroom, and parlour and all,
I like the green dining-room so much the best
Because of its ceiling and wall.


......

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The Holidays
by Jane Taylor

"Ah! don't you remember, 'tis almost December,
And soon will the holidays come;
Oh, 'twill be so funny, I've plenty of money,
I'll buy me a sword and a drum. "

Thus said little Harry, unwilling to tarry,
Impatient from school to depart;
But we shall discover, this holiday lover
Knew little what was in his heart.


......

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Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money
by Pam Ayres

It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.

All up and down the country,

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Recent Funny Poems
Sisyphus
by Peter Quitadamo

The laundry and dishes
pile up. My wife says she knows
how Sisyphus feels.

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Beholder
by Peter Quitadamo

Beauty is in the one
who beholds. Will you hold bees
and look at me now?

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Gift
by Peter Quitadamo

Each day is a gift.
Some are a beautiful ring.
Some ill-fitting socks.

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Magnum opus
by Peter Quitadamo

My magnum opus
is not losing it on the
fools. Mostly, myself.

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What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart

Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear

And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat

And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine

And an Ox call Leon

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