Funny Poems

Popular Funny Poems
American Primitive
by William Jay Smith

Look at him there in his stovepipe hat,
His high-top shoes, and his handsome collar;
Only my Daddy could look like that,
And I love my Daddy like he loves his Dollar.

The screen door bangs, and it sounds so funny--
There he is in a shower of gold;
His pockets are stuffed with folding money,
His lips are blue, and his hands feel cold.


......

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The List Of Famous Hats
by James Tate

Napoleon's hat is an obvious choice I guess to list as a famous
hat, but that's not the hat I have in mind. That was his hat for
show. I am thinking of his private bathing cap, which in all hon-
esty wasn't much different than the one any jerk might buy at a
corner drugstore now, except for two minor eccentricities. The
first one isn't even funny: Simply it was a white rubber bathing
cap, but too small. Napoleon led such a hectic life ever since his
childhood, even farther back than that, that he never had a
chance to buy a new bathing cap and still as a grown-up--well,
he didn't really grow that much, but his head did: He was a pin-

......

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The Explorer
by Rudyard Kipling

"There's no sense in going further --
it's the edge of cultivation,"
So they said, and I believed it --
broke my land and sowed my crop --
Built my barns and strung my fences
in the little border station
Tucked away below the foothills
where the trails run out and stop.

Till a voice, as bad as Conscience,

......

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Afternoon In School The Last Lesson
by David Herbert Lawrence

When will the bell ring, and end this weariness?
How long have they tugged the leash, and strained apart
My pack of unruly hounds: I cannot start
Them again on a quarry of knowledge they hate to hunt,
I can haul them and urge them no more.
No more can I endure to bear the brunt
Of the books that lie out on the desks: a full three score
Of several insults of blotted pages and scrawl
Of slovenly work that they have offered me.
I am sick, and tired more than any thrall

......

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Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money
by Pam Ayres

It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.

All up and down the country,

......

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Recent Funny Poems
Sisyphus
by Peter Quitadamo

The laundry and dishes
pile up. My wife says she knows
how Sisyphus feels.

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Beholder
by Peter Quitadamo

Beauty is in the one
who beholds. Will you hold bees
and look at me now?

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Gift
by Peter Quitadamo

Each day is a gift.
Some are a beautiful ring.
Some ill-fitting socks.

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Magnum opus
by Peter Quitadamo

My magnum opus
is not losing it on the
fools. Mostly, myself.

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What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart

Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear

And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat

And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine

And an Ox call Leon

......

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