Funny Poems
CafÉ Comedy
by Robert William Service
She
I'm waiting for the man I hope to wed.
I've never seen him - that's the funny part.
I promised I would wear a rose of red,
Pinned on my coat above my fluttered heart,
So that he'd know me - a precaution wise,
Because I wrote him I was twenty-three,
And Oh such heaps and heaps of silly lies. . .
So when we meet what will he think of me?
......
Manuelzinho
by Elizabeth Bishop
Half squatter, half tenant (no rent)—
a sort of inheritance; white,
in your thirties now, and supposed
to supply me with vegetables,
but you don't; or you won't; or you can't
get the idea through your brain—
the world's worst gardener since Cain.
Titled above me, your gardens
ravish my eyes. You edge
the beds of silver cabbages
......
Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money
by Pam Ayres
It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.
All up and down the country,
......
The List Of Famous Hats
by James Tate
Napoleon's hat is an obvious choice I guess to list as a famous
hat, but that's not the hat I have in mind. That was his hat for
show. I am thinking of his private bathing cap, which in all hon-
esty wasn't much different than the one any jerk might buy at a
corner drugstore now, except for two minor eccentricities. The
first one isn't even funny: Simply it was a white rubber bathing
cap, but too small. Napoleon led such a hectic life ever since his
childhood, even farther back than that, that he never had a
chance to buy a new bathing cap and still as a grown-up--well,
he didn't really grow that much, but his head did: He was a pin-
......
There Was An Old Poop From Poughkeepsie
by John Updike
There was an old poop from Poughkeepsie,
Who tended, at night, to be tipsy.
Said he, ''My last steps
Aren't propelled by just Schweppes! '' -
That peppy old poop from Poughkeepsie.
Sisyphus
by Peter Quitadamo
The laundry and dishes
pile up. My wife says she knows
how Sisyphus feels.
Beholder
by Peter Quitadamo
Beauty is in the one
who beholds. Will you hold bees
and look at me now?
Gift
by Peter Quitadamo
Each day is a gift.
Some are a beautiful ring.
Some ill-fitting socks.
Magnum opus
by Peter Quitadamo
My magnum opus
is not losing it on the
fools. Mostly, myself.
What's Your Name?
by Gilligan Snolepart
Once upon a time
There was a bear called Bear
And a dog called Doug
and a cat called Cat
And a sheep call Hugh
And a dolphin called Delphine
And an Ox call Leon
......
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Clarence Michael Dennis (5 poems about Funny)
C. J. Dennis] (7 September 1876 - 22 June 1938 / Auburn, South Australia -
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