tremulous land
beseeched me to quiver
to bide, to tarry
somewhere inside
somewhere upriver
blessed and extraordinary
obscurity everlasting
obstructive, obtrusive, occlusive
unfuckable
......
Proverbs 13:24
He stares at his feet so
he doesn’t see the belt
In his father’s grip.
Over dinner, he’d spoken up,
Or out,
Or back,
The exact angle or fact of the offense
......
I was awaken by the scream
It sounded like pain
What is going on?
I asked myself
The scream became unbearable
So I began to locate the sound
It was coming from my neighbors house
He was having an argument with his wife
He had lost his temper and hit her
And left her bruised and shattered
......
We were running and we were safe,
We were high but well behaved
Positive souls by all that mean,
Driving cool in a fast machine
Then something happened,
We blacked out
We stuck in the dark,
Could not shout
It's the car wrack,
That we couldn't move
......
The barren trees remind me of my soul
Since the snow has melted
As the coldness of this Easter afternoon
Hits my face like a slap from you
It stings as my tears fall
And the pain cannot cease in my heart
For I never thought the sadness
Would hurt like this
And it would never arrive on a joyous day
But the solitude has left me
......
Love always came, but never in my size.
Too big to hold, slipping through my fingers,
or too small, choking me in its seams.
I wore it anyway
patched-up apologies, sleeves too short to keep me warm,
frayed edges where promises unraveled.
I shopped for love in secondhand stores,
digging through racks of discarded affection,
trying on whispers that no longer fit their owners,
......
I watched myself in the reflection of ashes,
a silhouette of everything I thought I was.
The person I used to be
naive, trusting, eager to give
smiled back,
a ghost of a life I no longer recognize.
I thought I was unbreakable,
but their words were hammers,
their silences were chisels,
......
I miss all the things.
the before things.
the untouched things.
the innocent things
that had no reason to fear the dark.
i miss the way i used to wake up
not scanning for danger
before my feet even hit the floor.
i miss how silence
......
Hostage
There is something in my body that is tainted,
A drop of poison in my vestal blood.
I can feel him taking over,
His calloused fingers slipping into my mouth,
Crawling over every inch of my unclothed skin.
On my thighs and chest I can feel him groping,
Eyes gawking at my feminine mystique.
......
They are pulled from me;
Stretched, knotted, and
Burned in a fireplace
Where trust and human emotions,
Are turned to blackened ash
I am left an empty roll.
The ribbons of my feelings,
Manhandled, manipulated
Mitigated, and misunderstood.
......