Wife Poems

Popular Wife Poems
The Wife of Mission Rock
by Mary Ruefle

Nothing curves at sea,
and the men there die abruptly,
in imitation of the fact, except
when the ship rises higher than necessary
and then they must drop suddenly
but for a long time,
so that their deaths appear natural
in the end, and the women sweeping the coutyards
pause, thinking the dust
to be the cause of a specific dryness

......

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I'm In Jail Because of My Wife's Breasts
by Randy Johnson

Even though my wife is somebody who I love and adore.
She decided not to let me touch or see her boobs anymore.
Every time I wanted to see or caress them, she said no and I would cry.
She wouldn't let me anywhere near them and she told me the reason why.
She said that I couldn't see or touch them because I'm poor.
She said that I could see and touch them if I got rich but not before.
But I've always been so poor that I'm destitute.
Last month, I decided to rob a bank to get the loot.
I was caught by the cops after they shot me in the dick.
I knew that I would go to jail, I knew that I was licked.

......

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Why There Are Wives For Us
by Pavol Janik

So they can keep up the fire
in the most interior of fridges,
so they can extinguish our hot heads,
so we can get burnt
by their flaming gaze,
so they can give us sense
by holding our beastly Golem in us,
so they can earth
the lightning of our pride
in collective destruction.

......

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When she’s sick I’m so in trouble. In the words of a hapless husband
by Robert Ippaso

When she’s sick I’m so in trouble
Rocks my world, bursts my bubble,
All at once my head is spinning,
Forehead aching, hair fast thinning.

I’m not trained to handle chores,
Clean the house, go to stores,
Cook the meals, feed the kids,
My existence on the skids.


......

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Paul's Wife
by Robert Frost

To drive Paul out of any lumber camp
All that was needed was to say to him,
'How is the wife, Paul?'- and he'd disappear.
Some said it was because be bad no wife,
And hated to be twitted on the subject;
Others because he'd come within a day
Or so of having one, and then been Jilted;
Others because he'd had one once, a good one,
Who'd run away with someone else and left him;
And others still because he had one now

......

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Recent Wife Poems
open casket funeral
by Bogdan Dragos

what would be the reason
to have an open casket funeral?

Why should the living
see the dead?

He addressed the questions to no one
in particular
but his dead wife answered from the
picture on the wall

......

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When she’s sick I’m so in trouble. In the words of a hapless husband
by Robert Ippaso

When she’s sick I’m so in trouble
Rocks my world, bursts my bubble,
All at once my head is spinning,
Forehead aching, hair fast thinning.

I’m not trained to handle chores,
Clean the house, go to stores,
Cook the meals, feed the kids,
My existence on the skids.


......

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Day without you
by Slava P, aka Maximus Decimus Meridius

Day without you
Looks like wasted
Feels like wasted 
If you may

Even hours without you
Feels like ages
Feels like crazy
Will you stay?


......

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I'm In Jail Because of My Wife's Breasts
by Randy Johnson

Even though my wife is somebody who I love and adore.
She decided not to let me touch or see her boobs anymore.
Every time I wanted to see or caress them, she said no and I would cry.
She wouldn't let me anywhere near them and she told me the reason why.
She said that I couldn't see or touch them because I'm poor.
She said that I could see and touch them if I got rich but not before.
But I've always been so poor that I'm destitute.
Last month, I decided to rob a bank to get the loot.
I was caught by the cops after they shot me in the dick.
I knew that I would go to jail, I knew that I was licked.

......

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O Aye My Wife She Dang Me
by Robert Burns

Chorus—O aye my wife she dang me,
An' aft my wife she bang'd me,
If ye gie a woman a' her will,
Gude faith! she'll soon o'er-gang ye.
ON peace an' rest my mind was bent,
And, fool I was! I married;
But never honest man's intent
Sane cursedly miscarried.
O aye my wife, &c.
Some sairie comfort at the last,

......

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