Television Poems

Popular Television Poems
Crime
by Mildred Haith

The crime scene has worsened
From year to year
Isn't it shameful we should live in fear
Of muggers, hoodlums, murderers and such
Depriving us a life style we cherish so much
Of love for each person, together we stand
Willing and ready to give a helping hand.
Why oh Why? Why is the reason?
Could it be too much television.
We should be mindful, of the road that we trod

......

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The Beef Epitaph
by Michael Benedikt

This is what it was: Sometime in the recent but until now unrecorded
past, it was decided by certain ingenious and commercially forward-looking
cattle-ranchers in a certain large, modern Western nation which prides itself
on being nutritionally forward-looking, that since people are increasingly
nutrition-conscious, and increasingly insistent that "you are what you
eat," all cattle on the way to market were to be marked with brief
descriptive tags noting the favorite food of each animal; and also stating
approximately how much each ate of it. This, it was felt, would both delight
the diner and comfort the nutrition-conscious consumer: people would be able to
tell exactly what kind of flavor and texture of beef they were purchasing

......

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For The Union Dead
by Robert Lowell

Relinquunt Ommia Servare Rem Publicam.

The old South Boston Aquarium stands
in a Sahara of snow now. Its broken windows are boarded.
The bronze weathervane cod has lost half its scales.
The airy tanks are dry.

Once my nose crawled like a snail on the glass;
my hand tingled to burst the bubbles
drifting from the noses of the cowed, compliant fish.

......

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I Am Waiting
by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I am waiting for my case to come up
and I am waiting
for a rebirth of wonder
and I am waiting
for someone to really discover America
and wail
and I am waiting
for the discovery
of a new symbolic western frontier
and I am waiting

......

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The Letter
by Mary Ruefle

Beloved, men in thick green coats came crunching
through the snow, the insignia on their shoulders
of uncertain origin, a country I could not be sure of,
a salute so terrifying I heard myself lying to avoid
arrest, and was arrested along with Jocko, whose tear
had snapped off, a tiny icicle he put in his mouth.
We were taken to the ice prison, a palace encrusted
with hoarfrost, its dome lit from within, Jocko admired
the wiring, he kicked the walls to test the strength
of his new boots. A television stood in a block of ice,

......

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Recent Television Poems
You Ruined My Birthday
by Randy Johnson

A man's birthday only comes around once a year.
You wanted revenge because I drank your last beer.
You decided to get even by ruining my birthday.
You got even by giving me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.

You know that I hate the new Doctor Who, I think it's a piece of crap.
Now you've started crying like a two year old because I gave you a slap.
I loathe the new Doctor Who TV Show and I let everybody know about it.
You bought me a piece of crap for my birthday and it's making me throw a fit.


......

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My Cousin's Choice
by Randy Johnson

A Wizard gave my cousin two choices, become an ogre or praise the new Doctor Who.
It took less than five seconds for him to choose what to do.
He chose to become an ugly green ogre even though it will be for the remainder of his days.
He chose to be an ogre because the new Doctor Who TV show isn't something he'll ever praise.
He became an ogre two years ago and this morning I learned that he doesn't regret it.
Ho doesn't regret his choice even though he's so ugly that he makes Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
When he was given the choices, he was expected to praise the new Doctor Who.
He has always loved the original Doctor Who TV show but he sure dies hate the new.

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Rebecca Schaeffer
by Randy Johnson

She was very young when she was shot and killed by Robert John Bardo.
She starred in 'One Life To Live' and 'My Sister Sam' over 30 years ago.
Bardo had stalked Rebecca for three years and tragically ended her life with his gun.
Fans were forced to say goodbye to this great actress who died at the age of twenty-one.

[Dedicated to Rebecca Schaeffer (1967-1989) who died thirty years ago today on July 18, 1989.]

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Why I Convinced My Daughter To Sue
by Randy Johnson

My fourteen year old daughter was the star of a children's TV show.
But because she grew large breasts, they decided to let her go.
They said that because of her growth spurt, it would be inappropriate for her to be on a children's show.
They said they were sure that I would understand but I was furious and I said "Hell no".
I said that it was discrimination and it was an immoral reason for firing my teenage daughter.
She was more than willing to sue because of the morals that my wife and I have taught her.
It was wrong to fire her because of mother nature 's handiwork and the judge agreed.
My daughter was awarded ten million dollars, that was what the judge decreed.
We didn't sue because of the money, we sued to stand up to their discrimination.
When I say that they didn't get away with what they did, it's not an exaggeration.

......

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Bill Maynard (1928-2018)
by Randy Johnson

A British actor entertained people as Selwyn Froggitt and The Gaffer.
During his 89 years of life, Bill Maynard gave millions the gift of laughter.
He starred in a few episodes of both 'Worzel Gummidge' and 'Heartneat'.
He starred once in both 'The Ugliest Girl In Town' and 'Coronation Street'.

When he died, it was hard for all of his fans to get a grip.
He died in a hospital not long after falling and breaking his hip.
It was twelve months ago when he passed away.
Sadly, we lost a talented actor one year ago today.


......

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  • Randy Johnson
    Randy Johnson (5 poems about Television)
    August 20, 1971 - Tennessee