I see you drinking at a fountain with tiny
blue hands, no, your hands are not tiny
they are small, and the fountain is in France
where you wrote me that last letter and
I answered and never heard from you again.
you used to write insane poems about
ANGELS AND GOD, all in upper case, and you
knew famous artists and most of them
were your lovers, and I wrote back, it' all right,
go ahead, enter their lives, I' not jealous
......
In
A Fire Crash
My Auto Pilot
Has committed suicide:
He embraced
The flames
As it was the first thing
that opens its arms
to him.
Old world, new skin, left uncontrolled
The body I’m in, hung out in the cold
And when it comes, comes closing in
I’ll just be skin, oh skin and bone
I’ll push everyone away when I’m angry inside
......
The angels' wings are broken, their halos lie upon the floor,
I gave all I was to the heavens, and still they wanted more,
All I feel is the dread of waiting, all I know is to count my breaths,
I sit upon the cliff's rocky edge and contemplate how many are left.
And today I watched a vulture pick over a rabbit's rotting corpse,
And today my church told me this agony was a gift from the Lord,
Today my doctor told me this was par for the course,
Today I sat on the cliff's edge and considered falling on my sword.
......
You ask me to be gay and glad
While lurid clouds of danger loom,
And vain and bad and gambling mad,
Australia races to her doom.
You bid me sing the light and fair,
The dance, the glance on pleasure's wings –
While you have wives who will not bear,
And beer to drown the fear of things.
A war with reason you would wage
......
In
A Fire Crash
My Auto Pilot
Has committed suicide:
He embraced
The flames
As it was the first thing
that opens its arms
to him.
Sadness, good and bad
It can lead you off a bridge
Don't let it take you
Can you lend me a fin?
I'm short for package of fags
And, man. I need one
And I lost the will to live
I spent days waiting by my mobile
Only not recieving a word
Not even a text
I guess my lover has abandoned me
But I don't want to talk about
Well, I guess I don't need yr money
......
Unfortunate endings happen only after wondrous interludes.
What Seuss and Jekyll say about the fall is wrong,
It’s not fast. Not sudden. Not planned.
It’s a three-month-old pencil.
Getting smaller unnoticeably until it’s unworkable and left. Each mark made with purpose and pertinent to the users cause. But importance doesn’t grant immunity to daily wear and tear.
At the end of the fall, there isn’t concrete - another falsified consequence fed by Who.
It’s blankets and a numbness.
A ripcord on anxiety and stressors. A freeing from everything that allowed you fall in the first - then you can soar.
......
i never received flowers
there was none
, not even the color i like
no yellow , no pink , no purple
i never received flowers
only when i was buried
mind buried alive
body deep down at sea
......