When she came too close for me to handle,
when I wished she would leave,
when I wished there was something else I could think of but she filled my brain with her eve,
when she consumed my thoughts and told me she loved me,
when I was alone and broken of heart,
when she was the one in my mind.
He would take over my thoughts,
he would tell me to rid me off of this awe.
He would tell me he was better,
he would tell me he could fill my heart with joy instead of the evilness off her presence.
......
Poets, come out of your closets,
Open your windows, open your doors,
You have been holed-up too long
in your closed worlds.
Come down, come down
from your Russian Hills and Telegraph Hills,
your Beacon Hills and your Chapel Hills,
your Mount Analogues and Montparnasses,
down from your foothills and mountains,
out of your teepees and domes.
......
A White Rose born into our world,
then into pain she is hurled.
That youthful smile disappears,
because of things that she fears.
The day to day pains that come her way,
in her own life she has no say.
She shrinks back and hides,
from a world so unkind.
Her angels have fleed,
......
Everything has already been said
I don’t need to repeat the words inside my head
Don’t need to say how I feel or
Tell you that I can’t take it anymore
Disappointed writing this
You’re telling me you’re proud
It just feels like I might miss
Out on things, the voices are too loud
......
I see you drinking at a fountain with tiny
blue hands, no, your hands are not tiny
they are small, and the fountain is in France
where you wrote me that last letter and
I answered and never heard from you again.
you used to write insane poems about
ANGELS AND GOD, all in upper case, and you
knew famous artists and most of them
were your lovers, and I wrote back, it' all right,
go ahead, enter their lives, I' not jealous
......
Can you lend me a fin?
I'm short for package of fags
And, man. I need one
And I lost the will to live
I spent days waiting by my mobile
Only not recieving a word
Not even a text
I guess my lover has abandoned me
But I don't want to talk about
Well, I guess I don't need yr money
......
Unfortunate endings happen only after wondrous interludes.
What Seuss and Jekyll say about the fall is wrong,
It’s not fast. Not sudden. Not planned.
It’s a three-month-old pencil.
Getting smaller unnoticeably until it’s unworkable and left. Each mark made with purpose and pertinent to the users cause. But importance doesn’t grant immunity to daily wear and tear.
At the end of the fall, there isn’t concrete - another falsified consequence fed by Who.
It’s blankets and a numbness.
A ripcord on anxiety and stressors. A freeing from everything that allowed you fall in the first - then you can soar.
......
i never received flowers
there was none
, not even the color i like
no yellow , no pink , no purple
i never received flowers
only when i was buried
mind buried alive
body deep down at sea
......
iii
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