My struggles really started...
When I was just a kid...
Running the streets and getting in trouble...
For everything I did...
I wanted people to like me...
To have friends and be really cool...
But I always felt like a outsider...
Alone, every day after school...
......
I'm trying to find a new perspective of me;
To learn to accept my mountains, valleys, and plains.
To learn to find beauty in my own landscape.
To develop a whole new panorama of the world.
I was a valued, vaunted veterinarian, maintaining health for animals I loved,
As a rainbow sparkled rich colors, from the moment peach sunshine shoved.
I was dedicated to such adorable patients, and they soon responded in kind;
Like the sameness march of each season, as a vivid parade of years unwinds.
Treating wounds and prescribing medicine or surgeries, filled the lemon days;
As blooms relish, but never comprehend, entering into gilded sunshine phase.
Friends and I had frivolous picnic fun, in green, flowering fields of no farewell,
......
No one really knows me the way you did. I don’t really let people see that side of me. I’m not sure I know that part of me anymore. I wonder if you remember. I wonder if you knew that part was sacred. I wonder if you care.
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When does all the reinvention, reincarnation, praying, and stumbling end?
Where does the transformation stop and the life after it begin?
To transfigure is to change, to become more beautiful and spiritual
And yet, each one of my successive reinventions
Feels more like sewing sinews to a fractured bone
Than weeks in which I praise God and embrace the transformation.
I am tired of reinventing myself.
It has been five years since I began to change–
......
I danced with demons, felt their cold embrace,
In those depths of my despair, I thought I found my place.
A fleeting high, a moments peace, but yet the darkness came,
A cycle of destruction, that never ending game.
The laughter turned to silence, love faded to fear,
The faces of my family blurred, their voices disappeared.
I traded joy for numbness, each thrill became a ghost.
In my addiction, I lost what mattered most.
......
When does all the reinvention, reincarnation, praying, and stumbling end?
Where does the transformation stop and the life after it begin?
To transfigure is to change, to become more beautiful and spiritual
And yet, each one of my successive reinventions
Feels more like sewing sinews to a fractured bone
Than weeks in which I praise God and embrace the transformation.
I am tired of reinventing myself.
It has been five years since I began to change–
......
Slowly I am recovering
You thought I was going to crawl back
Like some helpless woman
But that didn't happened, did it?
I licked my wounds
And thought of calling you
However, when I was thinking about our history
I fought myself from phone and realise
I would crawl back and get hurt once more
No, not this time
......
I was a valued, vaunted veterinarian, maintaining health for animals I loved,
As a rainbow sparkled rich colors, from the moment peach sunshine shoved.
I was dedicated to such adorable patients, and they soon responded in kind;
Like the sameness march of each season, as a vivid parade of years unwinds.
Treating wounds and prescribing medicine or surgeries, filled the lemon days;
As blooms relish, but never comprehend, entering into gilded sunshine phase.
Friends and I had frivolous picnic fun, in green, flowering fields of no farewell,
......
Do I serve as a mirror to your true self?
Glowing and flourishing
in plain sight
all this you will fail to admire
too captivated by your own reflection,
which you so wrongfully envision
sutured to my face
Is it why you still treat this like a game?
......