Nonfiction Poems
Get Your Head Out of Your Ass
by Randy Johnson
You're a woman who has beauty but not much class.
What you need to do is to get your head out of your ass.
You only want a man who earns a million or more each year.
You rejected a man who's a janitor because you disliked his career.
The problem that you have is that no rich man has ever asked you out.
When I tell you that you're going to be an old maid, I have no doubt.
You are also poor and that is why rich men don't want you.
Many of them are just as superficial as you are and that's true.
If you and they could realize that rich people and poor people are equals, the world would be a better place.
Get your head out of your ass, being rich doesn't make people superior and believing that it does is a disgrace.
......
No Father on Father's Day
by Randy Johnson
I have no father on Father's Day.
Six years ago, Dad passed away.
Dad died at the young age of sixty-five.
Because of Leukemia, he couldn't survive.
I also lost Mom just four months earlier.
It was sad to have to see their deaths occur.
Dad died in 2013 and he was born in 1947.
When Dad died, his soul went to Heaven.
......
Merry Christmas, Mom - Part VI
by Randy Johnson
The Christmas of 2012 was the last Christmas that you celebrated on Earth.
You were a kind and loving mother for 41 and a half years after my birth.
When March the 6th arrived, you wouldn't have a tomorrow.
It took two years for me to get over the pain and sorrow.
I can't spend anymore Christmases with you, now I spend my Christmases alone.
You were a terrific woman and the best person who I've ever known.
March of 2013 was the worst month and year that I've ever experienced.
When you passed away, it hurt me terribly and I've missed you ever since.
But I feel much better now, time does heal a man's wounds.
Merry Christmas Mom, I'm sorry that you died too soon.
......
Smoke Free
by Randy Johnson
For one month, I've been smoke free.
31 days ago, I put smoking behind me.
God and the nicotine patches have helped me to quit and I'm grateful.
And without those patches, the nicotine withdrawal would've made me become hateful.
But I'm no longer using the patches and I think I have the problem licked.
I've been smoke free for a month and I think that I'm no longer an addict.
Let me tell other smokers something that's true.
I was able to kick the habit and so can you.
Death Of a Relative
by Randy Johnson
My papaw died twenty-five years ago today.
It's been a quarter of a century since he passed away.
When he took a new medication, he became sick.
When Papaw took it, he turned out to be allergic.
If it hadn't been for Papaw, I wouldn't exist.
He died a long time ago and he's still missed.
(Dedicated to Burley Johnson who died on August 3, 1994.)
I Love The Autumn
by Randy Johnson
Fall is my second favorite season of the year.
I love the Autumn as much as people love beer.
The leaves will change color and fall from the trees.
When it comes to the Autumn, it is sure to please.
Fall is a season that I really appreciate.
I love the Autumn because it's great.
An Entire Nation Still Mourns
by Randy Johnson
One minute everything was fine but the next, everything went sour.
Terrorists hijacked some planes and attacked the World Trade Towers.
Because of those damn terrorists, 2,977 innocent people were killed.
They attacked the World Trade Towers which took six years to build.
Construction of the towers began in 1966 and ended in 1972.
What those terrorists did was a cowardly and evil thing to do.
The people who were born on that day are now adults legally, time flies.
An entire nation still mourns the loss of each and every person who died.
(I dedicate this poem to the nearly 3,000 people who perished on September 11, 2001.)
......
My Name Is Horace
by Randy Johnson
In 1987, he starred in a movie that was called 'The Monster Squad'.
At a very young age, he died and went to Heaven to be with God.
Two other movies that he starred in were 'Home Free' and 'Dance 'Til Dawn'.
When he died of Pneumonia in 1987, it was hard to believe that he was gone.
He abandoned his acting career to study law before dying at the age of 22.
To die at such a young age is unfair and ridiculous, and that certainly is true.
[Dedicated to Brent Chalem (1975-1997) who died on December 9, 1997.]
One of The Greatest Dogs On The Planet
by Randy Johnson
I adopted Agnes six years ago today.
She'll be my dog until she passes away.
I named my Chihuahua after my late mother.
She's my dog and I won't trade her for any other.
Agnes got sick and a veterinarian examined her.
The vet discovered that she has a heart murmur.
Because of a tick, Agnes was temporarily paralyzed.
I didn't know a tick could do that, I was surprised.
She nearly died and it was hard for me to stand it.
Agnes is one of the greatest dogs on the planet.
......
Elvis Presley: The Same Amount of Time
by Randy Johnson
You've been dead for the same amount of time that you lived, forty-two years.
You were loved and your death devastated each and every one of your peers.
You didn't perform in all fifty states, one state that you missed was Montana.
You performed your last concert on June 26, 1977 in the state of Indiana.
Two of your hit songs were 'All Shook Up' and 'Hound Dog'.
You had great taste in motorcycles, you sure did love Hogs.
You had a wonderful life but not a life that was long.
When doctors constantly prescribed those pills, it was wrong.
You loved to give away Cadillacs, you truly had a heart of gold.
It was very sad to lose you when you were only 42 years old.
......
