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Being in confortable surroundings makes my chest feel oddly out of place.
My body is wrapped in warm blankets, everything at ease.and the sudden quiet makes the Festering emptiness be heard.
I hear it crawl around, nawing at everything i once had.Hear it mock me with its crooked teeth at display. Cause playing pretend didn't seem to work.
I throw the blankets away.
The winter air stings my bare skin and with every prick the emptiness seems to go away.
Maybe it will work this time. Maybe playing pretend will make it go away.
......
Anorexia, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Harm, Suicide
How you have become my friends
You have grown up with me and have been by my side
Friends I could not live without
You guys have controlled my life
And have left me at the end of my rope
What I go through every day is very real
You have put me through the lowest darkest times
It angers me when people put off my issues
Like they don't even care, they don't even try
......
Never hungry and never satisfied
I don’t know where to run
But I know where to hide
Past midnight wishing on the--
Is that a star or
a satellite? At
least the moon will always be bright.
Lonesome on a December night,
......
The old jaggernaut's dream
Filled brain juice to the brim
Withstand this tale's grim
So no more you'd be trapped by the gleam
Once, spoke a hummingbird, blaring clickity and clackity throbs:
"You shall not prevail better than my voice."
The bird hums with an echo so loud, jollying bold brazen yaps,
Letting the whole forest hear her obnoxious melodies
......
His story had started
But he wanted to end it
His story had started
With all the feelings he blended
Right foot then left foot
He began to wobble
Right foot only
He began to hobble
He reached out for help
but he couldn't find it
......
Fallen leaves
A lack of green
My brush strokes on the canvas
I paint the sands in all it's Tanness
Cactus thorns and rows of corn
Snow and rain
Confusing pain
Light with no sun and Laughter with no fun
I'm not understanding
Trees in the sand
......
8888
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I was eleven
when I learned the burn of vodka
could quiet the voice in my head,
the one that kept asking
why am I still here?
I drank from a water bottle filled with Bicardi
in the back of 8th grade history,
and the teacher’s words became
white noise I floated in.
......