Humor Poems
The Apple Of My Eye
by Jeffrey Pipes Guice
Every time I think of you my hands began to shake.
My knees begin to wobble and my head begins to ache.
You caused me nothing but trouble and I often wondered why.
I was good to you and I loved you so. You were the apple of my eye.
It started on the afternoon of the 23rd of May.
You were dating a boy named Anderson
but your game he couldn’t play.
Then when you saw me you fell in love
and you still love me today.
......
McGonagall's Write (a poem in the style of William McGonagall)
by Merv Graham
Oh, gather 'round and lend an ear,
For I've a tale to tell, I fear,
Of blunders bold and mishaps grand,
In verse, I'll weave them with my hand.
Once in a village, quaint and small,
There lived a lad, not small but tall,
With knobbly knees and a crooked grin,
He often found himself in a spin.
......
Alligator Transportation
by Jeffrey Pipes Guice
Alligator transportation...
Go in style crocodile...
In da swamps of New Orleans...
Or on da river called da Nile...
When your gettin’s stopped a goin’...
When you’re late for your date...
When your bees stopped a buzzin’...
She’s sick and tired you’re always late...
......
Sonnet Xix: You Cannot Love
by Michael Drayton
To Humor
You cannot love, my pretty heart, and why?
There was a time you told me that you would;
But now again you will the same deny,
If it might please you, would to God you could.
What, will you hate? Nay, that you will not, neither.
Nor love nor hate, how then? What will you do?
What, will you keep a mean then betwixt either,
Or will you love me and yet hate me, too?
......
The Birds and the Bees Revisited
by Richard Randolph
Your mother thinks it’s time
I taught you about the birds and the bees,
so here’s what I’ll say about that.
God knows it’s easy to envy birds,
seeing them flying so high and free.
But the truth is most of them live in constant fear
of being killed and eaten by bigger birds,
or cats, or some other creature.
And all that singing the Romantics talk about,
well, it’s really just them squawking in turf wars,
......
I'm just starting - in Trumps own words
by Dr. Robert Ippaso
Everything I've touched has turned to gold,
A feeling that never gets too worn or old,
I savor every moment, every win,
With my opponents stuck in their unsightly bin.
The more they shout and flail their arms,
The more my inner soul it calms,
Their din is music to my ears,
It gives me pep; it takes off years.
......
"Humor"
by Mario Odekerken
De sok zat aan mijn hand,
de koffie in de plant.
Ochtendlogica,
nooit te vertrouwen,
maar altijd trouw aanwezig.
Humor
by Mario Odekerken
The sock was on my hand,
the coffee in the plant.
Morning logic,
never to be trusted,
yet always faithfully present.
Love Notes from the Fur-Covered Couch
by Nai'a Safir
Dear cherished companion, sweet and true,
Each day I give my thanks to you,
For all the special ways you share,
Your loving presence everywhere.
Such artistry in every shed,
From kitchen floor to cozy bed.
Your fur adorns my morning feast,
Like snowflakes falling, never ceased.
......
Dragonfly
by Joe Cyr
A dragonfly is delicate and beautiful,
with gossamer wings and body bright.
Flying up or down, ahead or back – so fanciful,
it darts about on zigzag paths in flight.
All in all, dragonflies seem cool and neat
except to the bug it’s just about to eat!
