Humor Poems
Excerpts From The Diary Of Damocles
by Bill Knott
I don't dare speak too loudly,
some timbres could be fatal--
that string is not too strong
I think: and at times I have
to breathe. Or maybe I fear
my paraphrastic exhalations
will spoil the oiled perfection
......
The Pangolin
by Marianne Moore
Another armored animal–scale
lapping scale with spruce-cone regularity until they
form the uninterrupted central
tail row! This near artichoke with head and legs and
grit-equipped gizzard,
the night miniature artist engineer is,
yes, Leonardo da Vinci’s replica–
impressive animal and toiler of whom we seldom hear.
Armor seems extra. But for him,
the closing ear-ridge–
......
Rahel To Varnhagen
by Edwin Arlington Robinson
NOTE.—Rahel Robert and Varnhagen von Ense were married, after many protestations on her part, in 1814. The marriage—so far as he was concerned at any rate—appears to have been satisfactory.
Now you have read them all; or if not all,
As many as in all conscience I should fancy
To be enough. There are no more of them—
Or none to burn your sleep, or to bring dreams
Of devils. If these are not sufficient, surely
You are a strange young man. I might live on
Alone, and for another forty years,
Or not quite forty,—are you happier now?—
Always to ask if there prevailed elsewhere
......
Recipe To Care For Someone With Hiv/Aids
by Cedil C. Booker
Ingredients
3 cups of patience
5 pounds of compassion
7 packets of gentleness
3 bottles of kindness
5 jars of humor
7 packets of smiles
3 bottles of calmness
3 pounds of humility
5 bottles of mercy
......
Scot to the Bone - in Trump's own words
by Dr. Robert Ippaso
You know that I won
Some say I clear lost
Their whines so exhaust
Wrong man they just crossed.
How wrong they all are
Fools to a man
When I've only began
To work out my plan.
......
Limericks by Michael R. Burch
by Michael R. Burch
These are limericks by Michael R. Burch, along with limerick-like poems and poems written in limerick meter. This limerick collection contains double limericks, a rare triple limerick, and a new version of the double dactyl that I invented, called the "dabble dactyl."
Asstronomical
by Michael R. Burch
Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
And so mass decreases
......
Now you ask who can I be? A riddle
by Dr. Robert Ippaso
Some say I'm soulful,
Others the Devils tool,
One minute I might find you doleful,
The other acting quite the fool.
Yet that's patently unfair,
One aspect that I can't abide,
For I'm as pure as the morning air,
A child of the gentle ocean tide.
......
What am I?
by Dr. Robert Ippaso
What am I?
I’m great fun and sometimes crazy,
Loud or soft with moods quite hazy,
Full of love, sorrow, unrequited loss,
One minute happy another sullen, cross.
I see the world in shades of neon gray,
Rarely do I care or anyone obey,
My vibes are epic, they constantly perplex,
Full of contradictions, invariably complex.
......
McGonagall's Write (a poem in the style of William McGonagall)
by Merv Graham
Oh, gather 'round and lend an ear,
For I've a tale to tell, I fear,
Of blunders bold and mishaps grand,
In verse, I'll weave them with my hand.
Once in a village, quaint and small,
There lived a lad, not small but tall,
With knobbly knees and a crooked grin,
He often found himself in a spin.
......
I've got Joe in hand - in Terry Fators voice
by Dr. Robert Ippaso
I have a plan
Yes it may be unconventional,
But as a fan
I assure you its success will be intentional.
Most of you may know me
My talent feted shore to shore,
With puppets real as all can see
Talking, singing and much more.
......
