Humor Poems
The Apple Of My Eye
by Jeffrey Pipes Guice
Every time I think of you my hands began to shake.
My knees begin to wobble and my head begins to ache.
You caused me nothing but trouble and I often wondered why.
I was good to you and I loved you so. You were the apple of my eye.
It started on the afternoon of the 23rd of May.
You were dating a boy named Anderson
but your game he couldn’t play.
Then when you saw me you fell in love
and you still love me today.
......
Bigfoot
by Kevin Schroeder
Bigfoot
In a misty wood where shadows play,
There stands a giant in my way,
Do my eyes deceive,
Or is it a creature I don’t believe,
Standing in front of me a gargantuan Bigfoot,
Foraging for his meal sneakily and barefoot,
With footsteps soft and true he gave a curious glance,
......
The Metropark Ranger's Ode
by Kevin Schroeder
Oh, the life of a ranger, a curious mix,
Of wildlife, picnics, and daring quick-fix!
With my badge of honor and sturdy old boots,
I patrol the greens, the trails, and tree roots.
I’m a guardian of nature, protector of trees,
A whisperer of squirrels, and friend to the bees.
When chipmunks cause chaos in someone’s dessert,
I step in to mediate—no one gets hurt.
......
The Birds and the Bees Revisited
by Richard Randolph
Your mother thinks it’s time
I taught you about the birds and the bees,
so here’s what I’ll say about that.
God knows it’s easy to envy birds,
seeing them flying so high and free.
But the truth is most of them live in constant fear
of being killed and eaten by bigger birds,
or cats, or some other creature.
And all that singing the Romantics talk about,
well, it’s really just them squawking in turf wars,
......
Alligator Transportation
by Jeffrey Pipes Guice
Alligator transportation...
Go in style crocodile...
In da swamps of New Orleans...
Or on da river called da Nile...
When your gettin’s stopped a goin’...
When you’re late for your date...
When your bees stopped a buzzin’...
She’s sick and tired you’re always late...
......
The Metropark Ranger's Ode
by Kevin Schroeder
Oh, the life of a ranger, a curious mix,
Of wildlife, picnics, and daring quick-fix!
With my badge of honor and sturdy old boots,
I patrol the greens, the trails, and tree roots.
I’m a guardian of nature, protector of trees,
A whisperer of squirrels, and friend to the bees.
When chipmunks cause chaos in someone’s dessert,
I step in to mediate—no one gets hurt.
......
Bigfoot
by Kevin Schroeder
Bigfoot
In a misty wood where shadows play,
There stands a giant in my way,
Do my eyes deceive,
Or is it a creature I don’t believe,
Standing in front of me a gargantuan Bigfoot,
Foraging for his meal sneakily and barefoot,
With footsteps soft and true he gave a curious glance,
......
And now it starts - in Trump's own words
by Dr. Robert Ippaso
And now it starts,
And yes, I'm back at last,
Four years of trials and tribulations,
Capped off by this raucous jubilation.
I fought and won,
Proved them all wrong,
The denigrators,
The fake media perpetrators.
......
47. Levity
by Kea Campbell
I tell jokes, but I tell them slant.
Laughter sheds light on the darkness of my candor.
Amusement frees the weight off of my afflictions.
Smiles accompany the loneliness of my sincerity.
I tell the truth, but I tell it slant.
Friday 5 July 2024
Yet another Politician
by Dr. Robert Ippaso
Why do politicians lie
And our wallets deftly pry,
Puff and bluster all the time
Their intent to cheat sublime.
Are we dumb or just naive
Of that talent to deceive,
Smiles aplenty to go round
While broken promises abound.
......
