You need to be broken, cracked open, to discover deeper layers to your being. The good news is that you can never completely break, for what you truly are cannot die. So as you break, all that dies are protective layers, illusions, and walls you have inherited from your surroundings and sustained because you didn’t know any better.
So let yourself break, and let the pain that arises be the fire that burns away all your doubts. Step back and allow these intense and scary emotions to run through your veins. These feelings are not your enemies, and deep down, you know this. They are but contracted love - your own repressed, malnourished, scared inner child crying out to be heard. As you become their embrace, they will unfold and bloom into powerful allies, like trees of such might and beauty that sustain your destiny’s unfolding.
Don’t be scared of your pain, and if you are, don’t add to it with more disdain. Acceptance is ever-present, and even your perfect inability to accept how you feel is already accepted, or else it wouldn’t be happening. Now you are free, not because you’re in control of yourself, but because you’ve let go of your anxious grasp on life. You’ve rediscovered your very own childlike freedom that is so deeply rooted in unknowing, in letting go and embracing what life sets before you. You never needed to become anyone, never needed to earn acceptance. Life has already said “yes” to you, for it has been unconditionally nourishing you until this very point. You are nature’s gift to itself, you breathe its air and eat its fruits, you stand in awe at its beauty and unknowingly carry out your divine duty, just by being you - a role no one else could fill.
Allow yourself to break now, to become a total mess. Drop your theatrical composure, with which you might have fooled other personas, but never could find any meaningful closure. Let the fear of being nobody fill your heart and brutally tear it apart, for every layer that falls away is a courageous step into the light of a new day.
And if you ever wonder what this pain is all about, it is not merely a source of frustration, but the very source of your being, the infinite power of creation. It is truly God’s fertile breath, the source of all life and the antidote to death. Scary it may be, but full of life for eternity. The dark, empty bottom of your being is where paradise reveals. Beyond space and time, beyond all definitions and names, the only thing that remains is the naked sense of “I”, the place where you and God stand eye to eye - one more step, now you’ve melted in his might.
......
How careful is the craft of conscience?
Which wields the sword of sorry,
That strikes the heels of discord,
And visits the home of the elusive.
Healing the rifts of former days
Respect is now paid,
As healing is sought
And time is bought.
Now, a conscience at ease
Grudges now cease.
......
I saw two eastern tiger swallowtails today.
I watched as they flickered, fluttered, and frolicked, rising and dipping.
A calm breeze gently passed my way.
In the distance, a boy mirthfully turned and flipped.
A sanguine sun coyly peeked through tall pines and sweet gums.
Then a gentle voice came and caressed my ears.
I savored sweet breaths as a bee crossed and hummed.
And I heard, "Shhh! Hold on, I'm abating all troubles and banishing all fears."
CHAKRAS BOLD
HE designed root red via
a laugh so raucous creating
world wild rumbling random
rubies rolled ruling red
thunderous winds whirling
shimmering shocking floods
Emperor Supreme spearing
......
Body betrays while caught in a tempest
The mundane morphs in peculiar ways
A silent storm stirring within you brews
With each surge, it claims a piece of you.
The office now a swaying deck
Unsteady ground, a wretched mess
Fingers clutch with fierce might
Against this inner sea’s harsh battle.
......
CHAKRAS BOLD
HE designed root red via
a laugh so raucous creating
world wild rumbling random
rubies rolled ruling red
thunderous winds whirling
shimmering shocking floods
Emperor Supreme spearing
......
Empty glasses everywhere,
Everyone's in despair.
You're the soul, kind and warm,
Comforting ones who experienced harm, Emptying yourself for others' sake,
The comforting shield you make,
Getting hurt while trying to heal,
For others, neglecting how you feel.
Before you want to help more,
You need to fill your glass before you pour.
......
When stuck in the storm of thoughts,
Take a pen and write it down
Just anything that can express the pain
Even if it can't heal you completely,
It may reduce the storm to a rain.
When you feel hurt or broken,
Don't keep it unspoken.
-Aditi Hayaran (Larkspur)
A breath,
Inhale
is the resistance of bones trapped against skin,
flesh straining against bones,
the continuous drone of meat sighing and the harmonic thrumming of blood in a private symphony,
......
Learning to love
Unhinged though thy heart
Resided in chaos,
Unloved!
For years in the dark in the midst of hatred,
Not knowing that love warms the bones,
The body ached in the cold.
Comprised of someone else’s lies,
Love lingered unwilling to fulfil the unfulfilled
And heal the wounded.
......