Drugs
Have made you old and me older
Drugs and mental illness
Drugs and mental illness interspersed with accusation, rationalization, retaliation
Arrests, hearings, warrants
Missed opportunities and stagnation
Suicide attempts and hospitalization
I could go on
But it started with drugs
......
They used to boink ‘till she oink.
Now she wanna divorce;
Steal all the money from his bank,
And saddle up a different horse.
Kermit starin’ down a pistol point
Blank, head empty, sit and think.
His heart sank.
He just wants a baddie with which to get jiggy.
He don’t want no Pay Piggy.
......
A fountain of pheromones, a bath in bleach,
Amorous anesthesia puts me to sleep.
Amoxicillin sex disinfects, leaving nothing unclean.
Cold, white, and sterile, like a hospital wall.
Find myself embracing paracetamol,
A creosote touch, but it's much more than just the usual call.
It leaves me wondering,
"What happens when poison expires?"
......
as a girl i was taught lesson one: love was the only thing that was gonna save me,
as my mom closed every prayer with “please bring a good husband for my baby”
you’ll find your worth in being wanted, dreams mean nothing with no one next to you so first you find a man and the rest will come eventually
lesson 2: no drugs, don’t drink, steer clear of any vices
poor daddy left his apathy, his family, and his sanity all for the high he couldn’t stop chasing
addict’s in your blood no turning back once you’re lost,
plus boys won’t like a druggie, nobody wants a baggage cost
child those little white lines won’t cure your emptiness, you’ll just ride some lifts and lows,
but open arms will make you whole, you’re not depressed you’re just lonely
a good romance will heal your soul
......
We were running and we were safe,
We were high but well behaved
Positive souls by all that mean,
Driving cool in a fast machine
Then something happened,
We blacked out
We stuck in the dark,
Could not shout
It's the car wrack,
That we couldn't move
......
The things about drugs
is at first
you get high.
You never want to come down,
and then you do.
And maybe you didn’t love it at first,
but you start to chase
those 10 seconds of buoyancy,
that minute of relief,
those 10 minutes of anticipation,
......
From age 8, risky behavior was my best friend.
It started with cutting my wrists,
not for death but for the sensation.
It was like my brain took too long to register
the pain that I felt, so long that I sometimes didn’t feel it.
At age 11, I got drunk for the first time.
Felt a little silly, a little lighter. Everything made me laugh just a little harder.
At 11, I gave myself a tattoo. The burning sensation of a too dull needle
and not skin safe ink made me feel
ALIVE.
......
The unknown, the mysterious,
Smoking Mary Jane,
Till they lost and delirious.
Clouded are their thoughts,
Hidden are their meanings,
Searching for refugee in unsaid feelings
On the warm wool, among Nordic symbols, giggles and mandarins, two hollow sanctuaries pull me in. Bony surface, smooth, recklessly thin.
I trace the patterns of lost vigor.
His beak, open, softly arced.
As if his last breaths were the questions I’ve lost the answers to.
So out of place, placed here so stubbornly.
Into my grasp, as if meant to be.
With each passing blink, I move closer to your essence, closer than you yourself could ever be.
Reaching beneath where your skin once lived.
Past the things you thought you were.
It makes me wonder,
......
They used to boink ‘till she oink.
Now she wanna divorce;
Steal all the money from his bank,
And saddle up a different horse.
Kermit starin’ down a pistol point
Blank, head empty, sit and think.
His heart sank.
He just wants a baddie with which to get jiggy.
He don’t want no Pay Piggy.
......