Punish me
like a dog
Hurt me
Until I can’t feel
The weight of my skin on my bones
Tear at it
and you won’t find much
Desire
Or anger
Alone
......
You can’t be strong all the time.
And you don’t have to.
Some days,
You’ll feel like you’re holding up the whole world.
But inside,
Your hands are shaking.
Some nights,
You’ll smile in front of everyone,
......
I am a clown
Not a happy one
But I make everyone laugh
Sometimes, I wonder why
For my smile is upside down
The makeup covers the tear marks
However, every body enjoyed my plight
I just want crawl into a hole
And surrender without a fright
Poor me!!!
......
Good morning, I'm sorry
it must've been so hard to wake up in the morning, every morning, and find me still around
sorry for the words i spoke, every fucking bad word i have once uttered
sorry for the jokes
sorry for the real face reactions instead of fake smiles
sorry for asking for help when doing it alone in a year/ not doing it at all are options
sorry for sharing any thoughts, hopes, or common memories; i should've said i forgot everything whenever the topic is mentioned
sorry for being a burden when i could have been vanished
i guess missing me is better than weighing you down, mom
sorry for not being my dad in his absence yet being him in passiveness/negativity
......
I crouch
Open door,
Sun-shaded by blinds eternally shut.
Laptop glowing
And eyes sore,
Each lid pounding at the other.
Pale leaves quiver
In the wind that creeps
......
I crouch
Open door,
Sun-shaded by blinds eternally shut.
Laptop glowing
And eyes sore,
Each lid pounding at the other.
Pale leaves quiver
In the wind that creeps
......
Good morning, I'm sorry
it must've been so hard to wake up in the morning, every morning, and find me still around
sorry for the words i spoke, every fucking bad word i have once uttered
sorry for the jokes
sorry for the real face reactions instead of fake smiles
sorry for asking for help when doing it alone in a year/ not doing it at all are options
sorry for sharing any thoughts, hopes, or common memories; i should've said i forgot everything whenever the topic is mentioned
sorry for being a burden when i could have been vanished
i guess missing me is better than weighing you down, mom
sorry for not being my dad in his absence yet being him in passiveness/negativity
......
I am a clown
Not a happy one
But I make everyone laugh
Sometimes, I wonder why
For my smile is upside down
The makeup covers the tear marks
However, every body enjoyed my plight
I just want crawl into a hole
And surrender without a fright
Poor me!!!
......
Punish me
like a dog
Hurt me
Until I can’t feel
The weight of my skin on my bones
Tear at it
and you won’t find much
Desire
Or anger
Alone
......
These tears of mine
Hide behind my smile
For they are afraid to be let out
I spend days bottling them
So, no one knows how I truly feel
At night, my pillow becomes wet
For they can finally be revealed
They dry in the dawn's warming light
Then I put them back
For another day struggle
......