Demons dance where none have seen,
A haunting waltz, a silent scream.
A mask of smiles, a cloak of light
Just to convince them I'll be alright
In shadowed corners, secrets keep
A heavy heart that cannot sleep.
The weight of thoughts, so extreme
I'm living in a fading dream.
......
A secret whispered in the dark
Eardrums ringing like a bell in the unwatched tower
The unrevealed crash lands with the grace of a ballistic missile
Blackness embodied deep within the tenuous roots
Spreading, creeping through every last sinew
Drowning in the bile, joy lost and never found
The rapture no longer holds sway
An abyss never ending, sinking deeper to oblivion
Falling with no gravity, suspended in tortuous creation
......
I am trapped inside my mind
Trying to shove past my skull
Without cracking it
So I run a million miles away
But I don’t know
How to come back
And truly stay
I am drowning in my universe
Going deeper and deeper
......
I had a Hippopotamus, I kept him in a shed
And fed him upon vitamins and vegetable bread
I made him my companion on many cheery walks
And had his portrait done by a celebrity in chalk
His charming eccentricities were known on every side
The creatures' popularity was wonderfully wide
He frolocked with the Rector in a dozen friendly tussles
Who could not but remark on his hippopotamuscles
......
Something plagues my thoughts while sleeping,
Only whispers, nothing more
Something dangerous slowly creeping;
Has made it though my bedroom door.
Here I lay, trembling, cautious,
As the clock strikes half past 4,
Feeling further sick and nauseous,
As something corrupts the early morn.
......
Demons dance where none have seen,
A haunting waltz, a silent scream.
A mask of smiles, a cloak of light
Just to convince them I'll be alright
In shadowed corners, secrets keep
A heavy heart that cannot sleep.
The weight of thoughts, so extreme
I'm living in a fading dream.
......
Keep your vigil, whispers of gray –
Speak of what I do understand.
Assault the evil glare of day;
It doesn’t speak for my heart –
Rather for the city made of stone
Which knows no bounds of hate.
On this day, I’ve fallen asunder;
No love for the pieces that remain.
......
an untouchable love;
tears shed by my faults.
no apology worthy,
as you’ve been my rocks.
i want you to be happy;
to return to your home.
I simply wish this community;
will appreciate your soul.
......
A soft touch on your skin when you’re upset.
A comforting body when you need someone to hold.
A loving person in times you feel lonely.
Most important someone who loves you for you, and is proud of your existence.
It’s hard to explain why I miss something that was never there. It’s even harder to imagine how it would feel, have you not experienced it yourself.
It baffles me that this is something I could not experience myself. I envy everyone who did.
Maybe I would be more human, instead I’m full of hatred.
......
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who sees the world like this.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m maybe cursed, that would be a good reason to be honest.
It would be a good reason to why I’m never happy.
It would be a good reason to explain the self harm and wishing to not be born.
It would be a very fucking good reason to why I can’t love people around me. I do like to be around them for a certain while, but mentally I’m never with them.
From a young age my brain learned that happiness is temporary. I’ll prefer no happiness over temporary happiness, and I hate myself for that.
......