Even while I dreamed I prayed that what I saw was only fear and no foretelling,
for I saw the last known landscape destroyed for the sake
of the objective, the soil bludgeoned, the rock blasted.
Those who had wanted to go home would never get there now.
I visited the offices where for the sake of the objective the planners planned
at blank desks set in rows. I visited the loud factories
where the machines were made that would drive ever forward
toward the objective. I saw the forest reduced to stumps and gullies; I saw
the poisoned river, the mountain cast into the valley;
......
From ocean's wave a Wanderer came,
With visage tanned and dun:
His Mother, when he told his name,
Scarce knew her long-lost son;
So altered was his face and frame
By the ill course he had run.
There was hot fever in his blood,
And dark thoughts in his brain;
And oh! to turn his heart to good
......
Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
......
1
I was sleeping when Namdeo and Vitthal Stepped into my dream.
'Your job is to make poems. Stop wasting time,' Namdeo said.
Vitthal gave me the measure and gently aroused me from a dream inside a dream.
Namdeo vowed to write one billion poems.
'Tuka, all the unwritten ones are your responsibility.'
2
To repeat Your name is to string pearls together.
The pleasure in your manifested form is always new.
......
We were four sisters, four sisters were we,
All four of us loved, but had different "becauses:"
One loved because father and mother told her to,
another loved because her lover was rich,
the third loved because he was a famous artist,
and I loved because I fell in love.
We were four sisters, four sisters were we,
All four of us wished, but had different wishes:
one wished to raise children and cook oatmeal,
......
The door opens to hot sunshine
and yellow daisies sway near
red roses, where orange
butterfly sits in summer, as
blue jay sings jazz at noon,
and red robin joins the tune.
Squirrels scamper in the
sycamore trees, green sheen,
in sight of droopy willows,
......
Angelica was thirteen years old, and 8th grade graduation was nearing;
Like scarlet lilies and the song of blue jays, just ahead, in grassy clearing.
Her school would be having its celebration, in orange excitement days;
And her family would all be attending, everyone lost in happiness haze!
Angelica's school would also hold an assembly, with talk of high hopes;
And their principal and many others would speak, like acorns, to tall oaks!
Her friends found themselves elated, too, for they'd graduate, together;
......
Sally Ann had long yearned for a dog, as smoky desert longs for rain.
Sally Ann was nearly twelve years old, like noontides of glossy refrain.
She lived out in the pretty country, with both parents, an only child;
And waked daily to robin singing, on the lanes where sun first smiled.
She was happy and a bright student, like the caramel stars, twinkling;
On the edge of the summer solstice, when onyx night's still lingering.
Friendly feet, on fuchsia days, ran fleetly, as they joined in joyful races,
......
On good days, we used to sing the “Mama Day” song. Mama would dance in her pink terrycloth robe, smile wide, and open her arms to us. She would turn on all the lights in the house, tell stories about when she was a girl, and once did a cartwheel. Back then, I didn’t know how to tell if it would be a Mama day or a Mom day. Mom days were longer; she was quiet in the mornings, and after work, she would pick fights. Some Mom days were spent entirely on the couch, but she could never tell you what was on. Laughter and manic sobs sound remarkably similar through the cracks under your door.
Mama never acknowledged Mom, nor did anyone else, for that matter. As the years went by, Mom stuck around. She shattered the TV remote and called me a whore for the first time in my life; it is still banded together, the remote and my sense of self-worth. She pushed my brother against the wall and took the keys for more than a few nights, that's about when he started disappearing too.
Mama still came around every so often, but couldn’t understand why her babies wouldn’t dance with her anymore. Mama taught me to cook, garden, to always send birthday cards and thank you notes, and all about the magic of the radio. Mom taught me to be independent from the world, to never have needs, that guilt and volume get you further than reason.
For years, I tried to reconcile how I could love and be loved by both Jekyll and Hyde, but now I just hug her, expecting barbs.
I am not as mad as I used to be, now that I hold babies and wish that it could be my fate one day, but how can I create the greatest love of my life with this sword hanging over my head?
My friends joke about the biological clock ticking away, but freezing my eggs won’t deactivate this bomb. I understand why she chose to bring me into this world; she wanted to experience that great love that only a mother knows. But I know that love too, I feel it so strongly that I have saved the child that never was from ever losing that love.
Dear Lecturer,
I really hope this finds you well.
About your students
Be not mean nor unreasonably harsh
Towards them even if they deserve it
For they are more of your future
Than they are your students
Remember, that the child is indeed
The father of the man
......