I’m that fatal kind of bored
The kind where the world is silent but somehow screaming
The kind when all color is gone but painfully bright
The kind where I’m numb but shattering
The kind where I’m stuck in place but flying through the dark air
The kind where my breaths are too deep but I’m suffocating
The kind where life is overwhelming, purely overwhelming
The kind where I want to escape, but I need to stay
The kind that beckons from the black night but calls from the bright light above
The kind that is nothing but everything
......
April 19th. A date I’ll always remember. The date I knew we were done. The date I knew you were done with me. The date I knew you got bored. Isn’t this how most relationships end? One person gets bored and that’s it, the relationship is doomed. How unfair it is that suddenly I can see you drifting away and no matter what I do I just can’t bring you back. Once boredom infests a relationship there is nothing to be done cause from that point onwards attention is unwanted. My sweet words that you used to lose your mind over are just annoying and overbearing. My loving actions have become something that you pull through. My presence has become a weight that you ought to drop. The helplessness is killing me. I’ve been through this before. I’ve been the one to lose interest and I’ve been the one who’s no longer interesting, but it never felt this way. I knew it might happen but I never thought it would affect me that much. Why do you have so much control over me? But the bigger question is, how dare you? How dare you leave me now? How dare you leave me knowing what I’m going through? Or maybe you didn’t even notice what I’m going through. Maybe I gave you so much that you didn’t stop to consider that maybe I need something cause how can someone giving so much need anything. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, but I expected you to know. I expected you to feel what I am feeling. I expected you to save me from the fear of opening up. I expected you to understand me without me talking about it. Maybe that was unfair of me to expect of you, but that was how much I though we connected. Obviously I was mistaken. Obviously I thought too much of our relationship. Maybe it was all in my head, cause if boredom is all that it took for you to give up on us then I was fooling myself thinking that we even had a chance. Just like that another date ruined. April 19th. Another day to remind me of how cruel life can be.
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Jump Jump The Bills Are Due
Hurry Hurry The Bills Are Due
The Phone Is Ringing, The Bills Are Due
Have No Life The Bills Are Due
Run Run Run The Bills Are Due
Friday Night To Saturday Try'n Have Some Fun
Sunday Get Ready Run Run Run
Jump Up Early Come Monday
The Bills Are Due
I get bored reading poems i’ve already wrote,
Expecting a new calling,
A new amazing visualization while memorizing previous verses.
Even when I can’t think of a topic,
I need a breakthrough
I feel the need to write something full of power,
Full of emotion
12/15/23
“Next week will be great”, said the lonely dull kid
Now on bed thinking how it should have been
Guess what, another week perhaps.
Twice a week double makes a full month
Was he too young to notice?
Years now still about next week
Maybe fun has a date to attend
Hair almost grey this boy still believes in next week.
Will fun ever show up to break boredom?
......
I used to consider myself
The most normal of specimens,
And thus, felt it odd
To utter a single word.
The regular consequences
Of having been born.
But everything I want
......
I get bored reading poems i’ve already wrote,
Expecting a new calling,
A new amazing visualization while memorizing previous verses.
Even when I can’t think of a topic,
I need a breakthrough
I feel the need to write something full of power,
Full of emotion
12/15/23
I’m that fatal kind of bored
The kind where the world is silent but somehow screaming
The kind when all color is gone but painfully bright
The kind where I’m numb but shattering
The kind where I’m stuck in place but flying through the dark air
The kind where my breaths are too deep but I’m suffocating
The kind where life is overwhelming, purely overwhelming
The kind where I want to escape, but I need to stay
The kind that beckons from the black night but calls from the bright light above
The kind that is nothing but everything
......
Jump Jump The Bills Are Due
Hurry Hurry The Bills Are Due
The Phone Is Ringing, The Bills Are Due
Have No Life The Bills Are Due
Run Run Run The Bills Are Due
Friday Night To Saturday Try'n Have Some Fun
Sunday Get Ready Run Run Run
Jump Up Early Come Monday
The Bills Are Due
April 19th. A date I’ll always remember. The date I knew we were done. The date I knew you were done with me. The date I knew you got bored. Isn’t this how most relationships end? One person gets bored and that’s it, the relationship is doomed. How unfair it is that suddenly I can see you drifting away and no matter what I do I just can’t bring you back. Once boredom infests a relationship there is nothing to be done cause from that point onwards attention is unwanted. My sweet words that you used to lose your mind over are just annoying and overbearing. My loving actions have become something that you pull through. My presence has become a weight that you ought to drop. The helplessness is killing me. I’ve been through this before. I’ve been the one to lose interest and I’ve been the one who’s no longer interesting, but it never felt this way. I knew it might happen but I never thought it would affect me that much. Why do you have so much control over me? But the bigger question is, how dare you? How dare you leave me now? How dare you leave me knowing what I’m going through? Or maybe you didn’t even notice what I’m going through. Maybe I gave you so much that you didn’t stop to consider that maybe I need something cause how can someone giving so much need anything. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, but I expected you to know. I expected you to feel what I am feeling. I expected you to save me from the fear of opening up. I expected you to understand me without me talking about it. Maybe that was unfair of me to expect of you, but that was how much I though we connected. Obviously I was mistaken. Obviously I thought too much of our relationship. Maybe it was all in my head, cause if boredom is all that it took for you to give up on us then I was fooling myself thinking that we even had a chance. Just like that another date ruined. April 19th. Another day to remind me of how cruel life can be.
Continue reading