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April 19th

April 19th. A date I’ll always remember. The date I knew we were done. The date I knew you were done with me. The date I knew you got bored. Isn’t this how most relationships end? One person gets bored and that’s it, the relationship is doomed. How unfair it is that suddenly I can see you drifting away and no matter what I do I just can’t bring you back. Once boredom infests a relationship there is nothing to be done cause from that point onwards attention is unwanted. My sweet words that you used to lose your mind over are just annoying and overbearing. My loving actions have become something that you pull through. My presence has become a weight that you ought to drop. The helplessness is killing me. I’ve been through this before. I’ve been the one to lose interest and I’ve been the one who’s no longer interesting, but it never felt this way. I knew it might happen but I never thought it would affect me that much. Why do you have so much control over me? But the bigger question is, how dare you? How dare you leave me now? How dare you leave me knowing what I’m going through? Or maybe you didn’t even notice what I’m going through. Maybe I gave you so much that you didn’t stop to consider that maybe I need something cause how can someone giving so much need anything. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, but I expected you to know. I expected you to feel what I am feeling. I expected you to save me from the fear of opening up. I expected you to understand me without me talking about it. Maybe that was unfair of me to expect of you, but that was how much I though we connected. Obviously I was mistaken. Obviously I thought too much of our relationship. Maybe it was all in my head, cause if boredom is all that it took for you to give up on us then I was fooling myself thinking that we even had a chance. Just like that another date ruined. April 19th. Another day to remind me of how cruel life can be.
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