Seren VonStein

6 November 1998

Stardust Amongst the Heaven

You were the breeze in my hair, the familiarity of the sun on my feathered shoulder blades, you were the laughter I heard in my dreams, the love my heart beat for. You were mutual understanding, jokes shared over laughter. You were not the kindest, you were definitely not the most stable, but I loved you anyways. We were best friends--I never told you. Not until it was too late.
You saw through the smoke and mirrors he tried to hide behind, but still gave him your heart and soul. He was there until you needed him, and then suddenly a ghost constructed of smoke took his place. I was there whenever I could be, whenever you broke down, for every thought of giving up. I was one of the ones who urged you to live, to give him up, but you couldn’t. His love was a drug and you were only too happy to be addicted. All I wanted was your happiness and he stole it away when he stole your heart.
When he stole your life is when I snapped.
The breeze became a biting chill, the sun a burning fire that settled in my chest. The laughter became cries and blames, and my heart became as shattered as I am.
My tongue became the bite, my words burning him in an inferno of fury. Your cries spurred on my screams, your blame became my proof, my shattered heart became glass daggers. My fury and abhorrence became my choice weapons in my goal for vengeance.
I will remember the breeze in my hair while I fall from the sky, the familiarity of the sun on my blood-soaked wings, your laughter lighting up the nights I wake frozen from night terrors, the love I feel the warmth in an otherwise cold house.
There is beauty in everything, even this angel with flightless wings and a dim halo. I can still remember the light in your eyes, the smile I saw through but didn’t know how to help, the last peaceful words that fell from your lips before you were gone. I will always remember the jokes we shared, the playful banter between us, the support we gave each other.
I will remember, I will cry, but I will rejoice because you taught me so much more than I could’ve asked.
You will never feel ready, but don’t wait too long, or the love you once held will slip from your fingers like stardust returning to the heavens.
You began as stardust, and to the sky you returned as such.
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