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Codependent

Codependent. That’s what we said. We said we are codependent on each other. We talked for hours each day. we never ran out of stuff to talk about. Until. Until you decided that I was too much. Until you decided that talking to me was a burden which you can’t endure anymore. Until I became the person you ignore. I used to be the one you ignore people for. I used to be the one that your friends hate cause they know you’re ignoring them for me. How did we get here? How did you get us here? Or is it actually me to blame? Did I do this? Did I ruin the thing I loved the most? But how? Right now I just received a text. Is it finally her? Did she finally decide that she tortured me enough? Will she finally open up to me again? Yet another disappointment hits. They keep coming every notification everyday, but then the notification I’m waiting for comes up. A surge of happiness takes over my body. A glimmer of hope curbs the emptiness you’ve been leaving behind. At that moment I realize your hold over me. I realize how much control you have over my feelings and… I hate you for it. This was never the way we agreed it would be. This should be mutual. This should be you on the other end jumping on the phone to text me cause you know I’m right here waiting for your text so I can have my fix. Yes you are my drug. Yes you are the one thing that drowns my loneliness. You are the one thing that made life tolerable. But now you don’t need me anymore. And I realize that you lied. I realize only one of us is dependent. Codependent my ass.
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