PYG's Whisper

November 17, 1991
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Mirage

I had a dream
I was lost in the desert
I saw your face within the sand dunes
I ran to you, carrying my sorrow
Hope was filling my bones
Tears were watering the drought of my emotions
I was standing beside you
But you were a mirage
And I was all alone once again
That’s when my eyes started to hit my cheeks with guilt

My depth burnt with the words you blazed
Blaming me wasn’t enough
So you woke up my trauma
Now I'm living with that fear
Of losing my hope someday
Even though it’s already gone
So far away
Still I need to hear your soul
Tell me you crave for my love
Say you do
Tell me you care, clamor it loudly to the crowd

Look me in the eye
Say you need me closer
Tell me we won’t die
And when it gets harder
We’ll make it easier
Please tell me why my heart’s still invisible

You walked nearby
It called you, you didn’t hear
So it cuddled you, but you couldn’t feel

Rashly, you pushed it, it fell
You crushed it, you didn’t even notice
You kept moving and it didn’t dare to grumble
Was it a dream or I’m denying this reality
My love, is it true
I heard that you came across your euphoria
Somehow you got helped
You got what you deserve
Those emotions I couldn’t serve
When you were crawling apart
Now I'm feeling so numb
My soul is nowhere to be found
I'm chasing your shadow

But it keeps fluttering into the wild murky yonder

I need your light in the night
To rewind those memories we’ve made
When our hearts were hard to separate
Because darling, I don’t plan to live forever
If we aren’t graying together
And if missing you is a felony
Then I declare myself a perfect sinner
For loving you with hunger
Waiting for you on fire
Knowing that you will never come back to my cavern
Where I’m mummified with guilt and so much regret
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