Jacoline Boer

March 1, 2004
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His help

When she came too close for me to handle,
when I wished she would leave,
when I wished there was something else I could think of but she filled my brain with her eve,
when she consumed my thoughts and told me she loved me,
when I was alone and broken of heart,
when she was the one in my mind.
He would take over my thoughts,
he would tell me to rid me off of this awe.
He would tell me he was better,
he would tell me he could fill my heart with joy instead of the evilness off her presence.
If I would consume him the way she consumed me,
my heart would fill with joy and I would not have to think of her anymore.
I thought he was nice, yeah I thought he was pretty
But when he came closer oh damn what a petty
He wasn’t as thoughtful he wasn’t as kind
But I was just blind, I was blind I was blind
I thought he was nicer
I thought he would cure me
I thought he would help me and maybe even pure me
But boy was I wrong
He brought me more trouble
He made me an addict
His love could not safe me but I needed more of it
When he was close I was happier than ever
And he filled my thoughts when I thought I was clever
I thought I got rid of my problems with her
But I just hid the pain away
Never was it though far astray
As I wandered with him I thought she had left
But nevertheless I was filled with her theft
She never really left my heart
Maybe I left my soul in her yard
The yard she would take me when things would go south
The yard where she would kiss me on the mouth
The yard where our memories were forever bound
The yard I will never forget.
The yard I will always try to forget
But when I was with him I could get my mind off
He would tell me funny things
Let me listen nice music
He made me happy
He made me dance
He would be with me when no one would be in my presence
He would hug me
Hold me forever tight
But when the time came he would disappear into the night
I would wake up in sadness
Would wake up without him
He had just left me when I was asleep
He was never faithful
He was never truthful
But yet did I love him as though he was mine
Everyone told me that he wasn’t as fine
As I had pictured him in my head
He was my medicine
He was my cure
Or so I thought
But when he disappeared again
Everything seemed to blur
Everything seemed so unknowingly pure and sad
I would seek comfort in her presence again
She would hug me and tell me to never go back to him again
I would tell her I’m sorry
Would tell her goodbye
But she stayed with me through every night
Though she didn’t make me happy
She was faithful
He made me happy but was never there
I would have to seek for him everywhere
When he was there he would comfort me though
But what do I know what do I think to know?
What if he leaves again?
I know he will
Though I seek my comfort his fairytales
He tells me stories, he tells me its fine
He tells me to never leave his side
But once he leaves me I want to go back
I look for him everywhere and hell show up
But what is the point of a bounding like this
He leaves as he goes
And he does as he pleases
At least she is loyal
At least he is nice
What should I do tell me how tell me why
Both of ;em will kill me
Will tell me to die
But which one is better
Tell me tell me why
Why do I have to chose between the evil ones
Why does my life has to be such a dwell
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