Callie Hayes

September 27, 2007 -Ohio
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Angry...But Not

I'm crumpling inside
but there's no reason for me to be.

I need YOU to be mad at me
so I'm no longer stuck.

I've pinned myself to a wall.
A wall of guilt.
A wall of pain and hurt.
A wall of self-hatred.

Hate me with everything you have.
Hate me so I can hate myself.
Destroy me.
Scream at me and yell.

Time can't heal a wound that's broken.
Only violence can,
when violence is all I've ever known.

Okay.
You're angry.
That's what I want.

Sear into me.
Burn me,
as hard as you can.
Leave me with nothing left.

Why do I want this?
Because I
Need.
To.
Feel.

Is this real?
Because it's too much.
I can't take it.
But that's exactly what I wanted.

Isn't it?
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