Premith Satish

September 26, 1988 - Calicut

Earnest Hesitation

What's wrong? She asked...
and then there was a long silence...
"nothing," he said...
between 20,000 thoughts he was fighting instead,

For he had been waiting for a reply...
for her to say "I love you too"...
but, there she stood unaware...
that her silence has opened up 20,000 insecurities of the man ahead...

why do you toy with me?
Am I not good enough?
Is there someone you like instead?
He lay on his bed staring at his phone every time he got thoughts of her...
scrolling through 20,000 youtube videos for hours...
but barely watching anything there...

How come you weren't home last night?
Where did you go?
Why didn't you reply to my texts?
For he has been obsessing about her too much, he's incapable anymore...
his imaginary obsession doesn't impress her... nor does his silence...

he takes one deep breath,
clearly aware that the pain was not caused by her...
but it was only born inside him instead...
96