Marra Makinen

May 1, 2000 - San Diego
Send Message

The Devil's Pulpit

I never should have expected you to stay
When I was the one that left first

That is an unreasonable
And unfair
Request for me to make

But you also never should have expected me
To abide by your commands
When those very same commands made me a cynic

There is just-
A huge part of me
That doesn’t understand
How you can up and leave
Not one-
But two families
And expect to maintain familial ties

You have put me in a terrible position
Where I am forced to choose
Between having a Father
Or having a man that once was-
A man whose Fatherhood has withered away
And transformed into solitude and performative luxury

I’m in a position
Where I now need to make an enormous effort to see you
Or to even hear from you;
You have situated me in-between two pulpits of morality
Where I not only have to choose
Whether to have a Father or not to,
But also whether you are worthy of a Daughter
Or not
181 Total read