Jeffrey Pipes Guice

New Orleans

Best Friend Advice

Do you remember the time when that buddy...
Tried to give you their best friend advice...
They said “You don’t really have to do this!”
And you didn’t think they were being very nice...

You thought you had made the right decision...
You would be in love ‘til death do you part’
You thought you had married the perfect girl...
Until on your wedding night, all she did was fart...

The next day she started spending your money...
A week later, she wrecked your favorite car...
Then she started demanding Big Os every night...
With that, she had now gone too far...

She was such a nice girl when you were dating...
During each one of those seven long years...
Now she’s become a freakin nightmare...
No more nights out with the guys for some beers...

Before you even got settled...
She moved back to live with her mom...
Before long the divorce lawyer called you...
Your life is exploding like a bomb...

How in the world did all this happen...
You were living such a normal life...
Then all of a sudden everything is turned upside down...
That sweet girl became your new wife...

Your friends said ‘We tried to warn you!’
‘But no, you wouldn’t listen to us!’
‘Your whole life is now in a shambles...’
‘You look like you’ve been hit by a bus!’

Sometimes it’s best to listen to your buddies...
Especially when it comes to getting a wife...
You’re true friends will always be there...
After she turns your entire world into strife...

© 2020 Jeffrey Pipes Guice
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