angel lockhart

march 22
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past heartbreak/better now

I woke up this morning still too drunk to feel my face. drowning in sweat, i can’t get you out of my brain. last night was mostly a blur, i wish i would’ve drank enough to forget it all. i remember waking up at 2am screaming because i couldn’t stop seeing you, the nightmares came back and they won’t fucking stop. i remember
having tears streaming down my face. Even though i was standing in front of a mirror, i didn’t recognize myself. i looked like a shadow of someone i once was. i don’t know what to tell my mom.. but last night i think
she found out, i can’t even look at her with out her crying. i’m so fucking scared of letting go but everyone keeps talking. and they won’t stop. i wish it would all stop. i hate saying it but i miss you, you said so many things that couldn’t be promised and it hurts. i only felt safe with you but now my whole world is a tornado and nothing feels real. i don’t want to wake up at 2am anymore begging whatever god there may be for you to come back, i want to fall asleep tangling your hair through my fingers, telling you how much i want to live a boring life with you.
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