Alexander Palmer

March 29, 2004 - Florida
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Echoes of Dissonance

Sepia memories fade into an hollow, hurting gap,
I am consumed by the future, I am constrained by my past,
Everything I am is everything I thought I lacked,
And yet my eyes remain downcast, and yet I only feel trapped.

Caught inside the blurred fog of reality and perception,
I loathe who I am, and I am too proud to learn any lesson,
From my action's repercussions, so I stand and I listen,
Claustrophobia and tunnel vision, hand in hand, this dissidence.

And I want to resonate with people, but I am so tired,
And I want to know the truth, but I am myself a liar,
I ran out of kindling so I set myself on fire,
I am too listless for the roses, cast me into the briar.

Everything everyone ever told me was the truth,
Now fills me with disgust, and I cannot trust what they do,
The pews that used to be a chore now might as well be a guillotine,
I'm tired of hearing a scripture that I never should have believed.

And god forbid the innocence of everyone around me,
Be faced with the doubts that will always confound me,
If you don't want to hear my disbelief, for heaven's sake, leave me be,
But you could never let me be, your scriptures must forbid it.

I'm alone in a crowd of people, and every verse enforces that separation,
I have always been existentially alone, supposedly, that is damnation,
And I can try to find solace, in word and pen and song,
But it will never ease the hurt of being told all I am was always wrong.
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