How can i miss someone i never had?
Miss the feeling of their leg brushing against mine
Miss the feeling of their hair wet from the rain
Miss the feeling of their soft words in my ears
It was all a delusion
That leg wasnt brushing against mine on purpose
That wet hair was not wet for me
Those soft words were shallow and empty
Words with no meaning
Actions with no purpose
Driving forward to an ultimately dead end
Allowing myself to be swept up into the illusion of a life where i wouldnt want you, i would have you
How embarassing for me
To believe that all the kind words you uttered were for me
Every brush through your hair with your fingers was for me
A delusion
Simply a delusion
False hope for something that could never be
I hoped and i prayed
On every dandelion
Every eyelash
I prayed for you
But that will never be
You will never light up when i walk into a room
My presence will never bring you joy
I am simply there
A measly ant on your path that you simply do not notice
Sure a small fraction of your life
But never enough for you to want me