The Present

I'm lying here trying
to imagine
The might it would require
to be better
Bubbling under the surface
are my sins
The weight of all my crimes
combining with my lies
makes a fire
in the wasteland of my mind

I'm crying here dying
to remember
What I was like when I was
a better man
But I was only a boy
after all
Now writhing in the grave
I've been digging
Buoyant on the oceans
of my tears
Lying here in wait
for tomorrow
The fright that a better day
won't appear

I've been avoiding it
the bidding of my past
To be whole
I'm bent and broken
sunken under the surface
I've been clawing
to the light
But in spite of my trying
I’m still stuck at the bottom
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