It was 2016, when I felt like I had no purpose. I felt like I was too weird for this generation. Well what I mean by this is that I did nothing like my family members. I loved the outdoors and finding new things, mostly I loved old ideas. I soon came to realize I am different and that’s okay. It’s okay to be myself and to be loved.
In 2016 My brother had moved out, and I was the only sibling left in the household. I just felt lost and confused. I didn’t know how to make friends and connections. I was very shy and I had to learn how to stick up for myself. For a very long time I just let people step on me. I wouldn’t do a thing about it. This happened for a long time because, I was so used to my brother protecting me. I soon became very sad. My parents didn’t really care for me or believe in me so, I found other ways to deal with the pain.
That’s when I found the best coping mechanisms. I soon learned that to make myself happier, I need to see others happy. I need to share my stories in so many ways. I need to be my own person. I need to be brave. I learned how to be brave by stopping the pain, and started to feel numb because I didn’t know how else to take out the hurt. At the time I thought I was doing better, but, then I started to have episodes. It got to a point where I lost not only my family, but myself and my friends. On the daily I didn’t know how to get out of bed. It got to a point where I only went to school for three months in 8th grade.
I soon realized none of this is my fault. My parents didn't have parents to teach them the skills they need to be a good parent to me. Very quickly I found myself in the foster system and they put me through therapy and brain tests.I learned quickly that family doesn’t have to be blood. I want to help others connect to their feelings with something like I did, I learned how to love by putting my feelings into art. I learned what passions are, and that I can make a difference in this world. I learned quickly that just because I have a past doesn’t mean I can’t live my life. In fact I am allowed to do whatever makes me happy. I just have to be determined. Just because I have a past doesn’t mean, my past decisions were mine. My past life will not determine me. I am past ready to move on with my life and ready to start something so magical. I never know where my passions may take me, but I'll take it. There are many unknowns, but what I do know is that I feel so powerful right now. This feeling makes me feel like I can do anything. Someday I hope I made someone feel what I feel right now. Now that I told you how I've moved on, I want to show you my passions. I love to write and share my stories with so many others. I love poetry. I love to share my ideas and discover new ones. These passions have taught me who I am. It has shown me another life. It showed me how to live to the fullest. It has shown me that life is hard sometimes, but you’ve got to be brave. I want you to understand life is hard, but don’t ever slow down, live your life. You are you and never stop being you. Thank you for taking your time to read this essay. It means the world to me , and I hope I have made a difference in your life today. I hope you feel powerful and brave like I do.