I searched my world for meaning,
but encountered only words.
Many, many words and few on point,

Words that sounded kind,
and hid mean spirit.

Words that promised meaning,
but offered only purpose.

Words that gave encouragement,
but only spelled demeaning.

I searched so long and far
that I became a researcher of meaning,
and found none in the process.

Hidden meanings stay as such.
Double meanings, just a crutch.
All the searching and researching
Really didn't mean so much.

..................................................

So I searched my world for hope
finding only apprehension.

Capture without search,
purpose without meaning,
struggling upstream
against a strong current of what ifs.

What if they don't like me?
What if she leaves?
What if I fail?
What if you die?

To apprehend is to fear the worst
while holding onto it at the same time.
With thoughts that are prehensile,
grabbing at straws.

So hope is no avail,
being unavailable,
or behind a veil,
or beyond the pale.
filled with words that spin out of each other,
or at least rhyme.

Filled with words that do battle with meaning.

...........................................................

So I searched my world for love,
and arrived at a crossroads,
where there was only striving;
search without capture,
meaning without purpose,
commitment and persistence without hope,
Sysiphus at the crest.

Here was the junction where words fail,
and meaning begins.

To put it another way......................

Words about Thoughts

Is it really to be believed
that such a great poet at birth,
was ordained and conceived,
trailing clouds of glory,
to live by name of Wordsworth?

This is certainly worth a word or two,
or many (in his case).

But just what is a word's worth
if not to search for thoughts
it cannot hope to capture or express,
and still insist on striving to do just that.

I used to think that words and thoughts
were simultaneous blessedness,
co-merging into consciousness.

Reaching out to clear the air,
communicating clarity,
intoxicating charity.

But now I know it differently,
that thoughts are hope for love, and meaning,
struggling past our words' demeaning.

Words are just tools without soul,
but thoughts are the being distilled,
which cannot be stated, only fulfilled.