Premith Satish

September 26, 1988 - Calicut

Crush on a Roommate

I see him come in, after our dinner with a smirk in his face,
looking at you, as a tool, he will soon abase,
annoyed with his untimely presence, I grin with haste,
while he stares at your chest, even while untying his shoelace,

You hug him in front of me, dreamy and bright,
Showing him to your room, excited for the night
My sunken heart can't deal with this plight,
I probably won't be sleeping as well tonight,

It's not your moaning in the next room which keeps me awake,
Its the fault of my own imagination, jealousy, and heartache,
For I should be the one in there making love to you this uptake,
Instead of this monster who I can't help but hate,

I can't take it anymore; my mind will explode,
thoughts of you, flowing in short flickering episodes,
your smile, your cute nose holding your glasses,
This flood in my head, every nerve in me collapses,

Heart beating fast, pulsating veins,
This obsession I have is giving me great pain,
I convince myself, maybe I don't need to suffer,
Isn't it just easy to tell her?

How can I tell you how I feel?
When your infatuation with this person is purely surreal,
I breathe deeply, as I try to contain,
The hardest part is this conscious restraint,

It is only a crush, I say to myself,
This moment shall pass soon; I don't need any help,
I can't help my thoughts as they run wild,
When I fear the most is; not to be another monster who got beguiled,
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