As I was lounging on my couch,
Re-reading tumblr posts from long before,
The came a knocking, firmly rapping,
And the dog went crazy at the door.

A flurry of fear went through me,
And I whispered " 'Tis but a parcel, nothing more."
But still the dog went on, ever yapping,
And I envisioned monsters of lore.

But still the knocking sound resounded,
And I armed myself from the kitchen drawer,
Calmed the dog still yipping, yapping,
And steeled myself for the dangerous chore.

But the spatula I brandished,
Could not save me from what was behind the door,
My hear stopped beating, ceasing pounding,
When I saw what stood before.

Exes, in-law's , other terrors,
Could not compare to this horror,
His attack came quickly, vocal warring,
"Have you accepted Jesus, our Lord?"