The world has fallen silent.
I can’t hear the wind rushing through the trees or rain trickling down my window.
I don’t feel the frozen air waking up my eyes or filling up my lungs. The hot cocoa won’t warm up my heart and even a fresh cup of coffee can’t make me feel alive. I am surrounded by a silence created by my own mind and it has jailed me. I can’t escape it as everywhere I go new sounds are made silent, deafening me to my very core.

My heart feels flat. Emptied. My brain feels dry. My feet are tired, but my mind is racing. My arms, my hands, are reaching but there is nowhere to hold. My body.
My body
feels
so cold.

I ignore the way I’m longing for your touch. It hurts too much.
I barricade the way my legs walk. It already aches enough.
I try to find solace in the way our story is told. It just seems so very bold.
I craft a cradle to carry the loss of your desire. It was once what I admired.
But no action that I take or thought I push away seems to break a space to welcome sound. No song, no poem, no word or yearning moan.

The world has fallen silent.
And there seems no end to my creation. I allow it to live inside and grow, to forsake comfort, to forsake becoming whole.
For now I have accepted this voiceless place and let my heartbeat be a lonely ruler of my realm.
As all this quiet somehow keeps me calm. No anxiety. No fears. No feelings, none at all.

A love that might be unrequited or perceived as threatening when scared.
When you are finally close to me but it has become
too much to bear.
I sincerely, truly hope that you will find the strength to call me near.
Thinking of you as not interested is actually
too much to bear.

But even though the world has fallen silent, please don’t feel too alone. Silence creates beauty by molding truths that will catch you like a wave. It forms a space that captures sounds and keeps them safe.

So don’t worry my dear, dear friend. Soon our hearts will be warmed by melodies and chimes. And as they grow louder over time, it will become clear. The world has fallen silent but just to fight the fear.