baby panda

December 10, 2001 - Malaysia
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Escapism

I will not tell you of my nightmares
I will not tell you how
the monsters jumped me
at every corner
Devoured people whole
Morphed, shifted, moved
Smiling with cold eyes
grisly and psychotic
smeared with blood

I will not tell you
I did not wake up

I will not tell you of my nightmares
I will not tell you how
I run from
things that chase me
up endless stairwells
shrouded in darkness
How I
tumbled through doorways
panting through corridors
fraught with illusions
I will not tell you how
I could smell their hunger
I could sense their blood-thirst
Hungry for my pain
thirsty for my blood

I will not tell you
I was afraid

(One wrong move,
and I would never return.
from my dreamscape.
That fear, I suppose,
fuelled my dreams.)

I will not tell you of my nightmares
I will not tell you how
I woke up to a black room
Filled with suspicious blotches
And how my mind
spinned a tale for each one
How I filled each blotch
with vivid imagination

I will not tell you
that the monsters in my dreams
came to hunt me in reality

I will not tell you
how I wanted to reach out
How I yearned for someone
to be next to me
But it was ultimately
futile

(Resistance is futile.)

The things put their hands
over my mouth, over my neck
over my arteries, gently
murmuring sweet nothings
reassuring me that
in the end
no one can see them
but myself

(No one can see you.)
 
"Why do you always sleep in the evening?"

"...I'm a lazy person, mom.”
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