Attila Jozsef

11 April 1905 – 3 December 1937 / Hungary

It hurts so much

It hurts so much

Death prowls behind
outside, inside into the hole
you escape like a small, frightened mouse

to the women
while you can glow so that you be
protected by their arms, laps and knees.

Not only their
soft, warm laps lure, and your desire,
you are thrust there by necessity.

Whoever can
find a woman will embrace till
all become white the seductive lips.

The treasure's double
so is the trouble one has to love.
Who loves yet cannot find a partner

he's as homeless
as helpless can an animal be
in the forest while doing its needs.

No other place
can hide your face even if you aim -
oh, brave you - a knife at your mother.

She understood -
no one else could - what these words mean
and yet she has just thrown me away.

My head's splitting
among the living no place for me
I cannot endure the troubles and pain.

Like a baby
who gets crazy and shakes his rattle
but no one comes in it is in vain.

Should I love her,
could I hate her? It doesn't matter.
I'm not ashamed that I found it out

because who is
scared by his dreams, dazed by the sun
in any case will be driven out.

My culture's falling
like the clothing from the lovers
in the happy hour of making love.

But where is she
to come and see death tosses me;
why should I suffer these pains alone?

The pain's twofold
not only the woman labors
and humility can assuage it;

but to my songs
money belongs so my sorrow
can only bring disgrace on me.

I beg your help!
Oh, every whelp there on the street
let your eyes burst where this woman goes.

Oh, innocents!
In labor camps wail under boots
and say to her that it hurts so much.

You faithful dogs!
In the thick fogs get under wheels
and bark to her that it hurts so much.

Women with babies!
Have miscarriages and come to her
to sob to her that it hurts so much.

Safe and sound people
whoever meet her fail and shatter
and mumble to her that it hurts so much.

Young men who can
tear each other for a woman
do not conceal that it hurts so much.

Horses and bulls!
Quietly pulls who is gelded
but shriek out to her it hurts so much.

And you dumb fish!
Do accomplish the angler's task
and gape from the hook it hurts so much.

All the living
with everything, home, farm, country,
let it burn down what the fire can touch.

From the cinder
let's come to her and yap together
when she dozes off it hurts so much

so she can hear
while living here what she denied
at her pleases is her own worth.

She has deprived
the outside, inside escaping life
of the last chance for a rebirth.
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