You know…
being a teen
can make you mean.
Mean to yourself.
Mean to your mind.
Mean in the quiet moments
when nobody’s watching
but somehow…
everybody’s judging.
Because being a teen
can make you feel invisible…
and somehow still
feel watched.
Every move graded.
Every word rated.
Every flaw highlighted
like it’s written in permanent marker
across your skin.
The constant judging.
The constant pressure.
The constant need
to be approved.
Approved for who I am.
Approved for how I look.
Approved for how I act.
Approved…
just to exist.
And sometimes
that pressure feels so heavy
it feels like drowning
without water.
I say “I’m fine”
so many times
it almost sounds believable.
Mentally drained —
but it’s okay… right?
I’m just putting on a scene.
Just being “moody.”
Just being “mean.”
But really…
I just want to be seen.
Seen beyond the messy room.
Seen beyond the bad grades.
Seen beyond the attitude
everybody’s so quick to label
before they ever ask
“what happened to you?”
“She’s always locked in her room.”
“She never speaks.”
But when I did try to speak…
when I tried to tell you
I was being bullied at school…
when I tried to explain
why I started shrinking into myself…
When I tried to say
my heart had been hurt
in ways I didn’t even have words for yet…
When I tried to say
“I’m not okay”
without actually saying the words…
Nobody heard me.
So I learned how to perform.
How to fix my attitude.
How to smile on cue.
How to laugh at the right time.
How to play the role of
“happy teenager.”
Because that’s easier… right?
Easier than explaining
why my silence is so loud.
Why my anger sounds like pain.
Why my distance
is really disappointment.
Isn’t that what you wanted?
A quiet girl.
A smiling girl.
A girl who doesn’t cause problems.
A girl who pretends
she isn’t carrying the weight
of expectations
she never agreed to hold.
But here’s the truth —
Being a teen
is not being dramatic.
Being a teen
is not being weak.
Being a teen
is learning how to survive
while still trying to figure out
who you even are.
And sometimes…
sometimes
“I just want to be seen”
isn’t attitude.
It’s a cry
for someone
to finally look deeper
than the surface.
To finally ask
instead of assume.
To finally listen
instead of label.
Because behind every
“bad attitude”
might just be a young person
waiting…
hoping…
praying…
that someone notices
they’re not okay
and cares enough
to stay.